There’s an old Irish saying that goes: “May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.” With St. Patrick’s Day around the corner, I’ve been reminded this month just how beautiful a blessing that is.

As my 70th birthday approached I knew that we would be gathering a few friends for an intimate dinner. But Candice and the twins also sent an email out to friends and family with a request to help with the celebration:

“Our hope is that David can have 70 cards to open as he nears March 4th. This could be a card, a note, a memory shared of your time with him. How do you see David? What are your favorite things about him? What are your wishes for him for the next decade?

Will you help us reach this goal? We’d love for David to hear from so many of the people he’s loved through the years as this milestone approaches.”

This was all happening behind my back, so I didn’t see (at first) the replies that Candice received, such as the one from a friend we met in 2016 at the American Academy in Rome. Alice immediately replied to Candice’s email with the following (including the picture):

“What a lovely idea (particularly before DOGE eliminates what’s left of DeJoy’s postal services).

I picture the famous scene of Jimmy Stewart/Mr. Smith dumping stacks and stacks of mail in support of THE RIGHT THING!! 

 I’m honored to be asked to contribute! Will do.”

This won’t be the last reference to Jimmy Stewart.

Thinking of joy can be tough when the country is under attack by cretinous, cruel, and often criminal men who are troubled and delusional. One is an infamous right-wing provocateur who talks about “flooding the zone with s#*t.”

Wouldn’t life be better if we flooded the zone with love, instead? This is a post that shows what can happen when we overwhelm our little part of the world with kindness and love.

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Checking the daily mail with great anticipation

About a week before my birthday, I went out to pick up the mail and saw a card from a dear friend in North Carolina. Now Martha and I worked together back in the 1980s and we’d always shared holiday cards and greetings, but it struck me as odd that she had sent a beautiful birthday card with a nice note. How did she even know?

All was soon revealed. There were four or five cards in the next day’s mail, and from the breadth of responses I knew something was up. Candice and Andrew admitted to their little caper and shared the note along with the email responses received.

It has been a long time since I checked the daily mail with such anticipation.

Much like when announcing my retirement, I was once again struck by the overwhelming kindness of the remarks. It truly caught me off guard.

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Loving the opportunity to get older

“Aging is such a privilege” wrote a friend I’ve known since my college days (when I knew her parents). My memories with Becky stretch over good times and really difficult times. “I truly celebrate birthdays and the opportunity to get older,” she wrote in a most gracious note that wasn’t the last time I had tears in my eyes. I couldn’t agree more.

A favorite cousin sent along a card with a picture showing me with her and two of her sisters some 70 years ago. Her card mentioned that her memories are of my blue eyes while her sister Jane remembers my long eyelashes. While my eyes may not have always worked the best in terms of sight, I’ve been told on more than one occasion (most often by my wife) that they look good to the beholder. I’ll take that tradeoff.

My sister Debbie—who is just 18 months younger than me—sent along a note that suggested that I had made her school days easier. “All I had to do was say ‘I’m David Brown’s sister’ and I was in!” I used the same tactic when I followed in my older brother Steve’s wake. Debbie also enclosed pictures of the two of us from the 1950s. I loved them all but, like her, I felt the last one, where we are sitting with our Granddaddy Brown in 1959, is a treasure.

“I don’t have much remembrance of him as he died on February 4, 1961, when I was only 4 years old,” Debbie wrote. “Love that classic pocket protector he filled with pens just as his son did in his day!”

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Colleagues help make work joyful

I heard from a number of former colleagues from days at the Georgia State Historic Preservation Office (the 1980s), Historic Staunton Foundation (1983-1988), the Preservation Alliance of Virginia (1988-1996), and the National Trust (1996-2019) which includes time working with the International National Trusts Organisation. One sent a dozen mini bundt cakes to arrive at our door, sweet treats we enjoyed throughout the week. Each colleague who reached out had special memories of our work together, and I was moved by the times these friends talked about how our relationship made a difference in their lives. As one wrote, “So many good things have come about” because of that work. The feeling is mutual.

A dear friend who lives across the pond wrote to say that I had always been her Colonel Pickering, always seeing her as more than a “flower girl.” That description was certainly a first, and her card brought back many wonderful memories, including the time we visited their home in the U.K. where I had the opportunity to help her daughter with her “States of America” homework. (If memory serves me correctly, I think I gave Connie some hot tips about Wisconsin!)

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Mentors encourage the best in you

I have been fortunate to learn from so many exceptional people during my 70 years. Several wrote to wish me a happy birthday. One, who guided me through a difficult, challenging, and ultimately fulfilling professional period, highlighted skills she admired that I would have been quick to use in describing her life. Good mentors find ways to encourage the best in you, and Nancy’s note that we remained “treasured colleagues” certainly touched me.

Another mentor wrote to say, “If God, like a parent, takes delight in seeing their child enjoy a gift, then God must be absolutely delighted with the way you enjoy your life as a gift from God.” I was simply bowled over by that note, especially coming from such a wise and loving priest.

A third, a psychologist who has been so helpful in the life of our family, wrote a loving note and then followed up with a face-to-face conversation. When I mentioned the kindness shown in these cards, Robin said that small acts are like the San Andreas Fault: a slight shift can result in the toppling of a mountain miles away. We never know how those acts and words will affect others.

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A thoughtfully chosen card speaks volumes

Many of those who wrote went out of their way to find (or create) cards that were just right for the moment and/or our relationship, such as a set of beautiful postcards from Rome. A very dear friend and fellow baseball enthusiast sent a postcard showing the October 5, 1938 World Series game at Wrigley Field. Ed wrote, “I am older than you; still, rumors that I was at this game are UNFOUNDED!”

I also loved the card that suggested,

“You are living proof that it is possible to be old and cool at the same time.”

I’m going to believe that this is actually true.

Another friend I first met at the American Academy in Rome sent a hand-painted card(!) along with some bullet points to describe our life together:

• You squeeze the juice out of life (and share it with others)
• You know when to bunt (and when to swing away)
• Your life’s “song” has been harmonious and loving, and . . . (there’s MORE TO COME!)

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Finding just the right words

A good friend who now lives in Alabama wrote a note that included this wonderful gem:

“Cheers to one of the richest people I know (in a George Bailey kind of way.)”

One of the great things about the movie It’s a Wonderful Life is that George Bailey (played by Jimmy Stewart) spends his entire life helping people yet doesn’t realize how many friends he has until he is in trouble. At the end of the movie the community turns a plea to save George from financial ruin into a celebration. If you don’t cry at that scene, well . . .

Rabbi Evan Krame has written that the experience of giving should be a cause for joy and not consternation. I certainly see that in the gifts of kindness shown to me over the past couple of weeks, not to mention over the past 70 years. Having been the recipient of extraordinary kindnesses of all types, I know the positive effect the giving of kind words and gestures can have on an individual.

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Flood the zone with love

There are a few things I want to accomplish in whatever time is left. I want to enjoy more drinks and meals with friends. To be more generous with my time and talents. To work where I’m effective to support democracy, equality, and justice. To read more books. To smile more often. To continue to travel as long as I’m physically able. To walk more, and to walk more in nature. To listen more. To talk less. To make sure that the people I love and care about know that without question. To be gratefully aware, not just every day but every hour in a way that leads to true thankfulness. To be a friend.

Especially through these difficult days, I want to try to be nice, but always to be kind.

With an abundance of gratitude. More to come . . .

DJB

Image of mailboxes by Deborah Hudson from Pixabay