I don’t make resolutions but I do make plans. Recently, Candice and I had a conversation on how we needed to get serious about de-cluttering our house in anticipation of whatever comes next in our third stage of life.

Receiving some of Andrew’s belongings from his former Washington apartment caused us to realize how crowded the garage has become. Recent work to help Andrew and Claire declutter their memory boxes spurred some of our renewed focus.

And yes, the fact that we have now packed almost a dozen boxes of books to donate to the Friends of the Library, and yet our bookcases look essentially untouched, speaks to the challenge before us.

After a conversation over dinner, I was reminded that a good friend co-authored a book on de-cluttering the family home, and so I ordered the e-version. Moving On: A Practical Guide to Downsizing the Family Home (2013) by Janet Hulstrand and Linda Hetzer is “a downsizing bible” which includes some of the lessons they have learned in helping others with this task we all seem to face. It immediately helped me think about what personality I exhibit in this process. Was I a thrower or a keeper?

“Throwers” relish clearing out and will empty a house quickly; “keepers” want to preserve special things as well as memories and will linger over the process. People who balance these attributes have come to the realization that the most valuable thing in a house is the life that has been lived there . . . “keepers” and “throwers” (can) work together to downsize and declutter.

I’m generally more of a “thrower” by nature, while I would identify Candice as more of a “keeper.” The two of us can, however, display both sides of our downsizing personalities.

As our discussion turned to specifics, Candice said — in the midst of much laughter — “So, David, just what are you going to do with all those bobbleheads?”

Ouch.

Truth be told, I didn’t know how many bobbleheads of former Washington Nationals players I had. I remembered that I had the “Dr. Anthony Fauci throws out the first pitch in 2020” bobblehead. I suspected there were a couple of duplicates, such as of the “Max Scherzer snow globe” (the snowflakes are ‘Ks” — the scoring symbol for strikeouts.) But I’d basically forgotten about Josh Bell (both as a player and as a bobblehead.)

One recent Saturday I took them all down, boxed them up (for those that had boxes), and discovered 25 in my collection. I went into my “thrower” mode, and 21 of them will soon go to the “Opportunity Shop” at St. Alban’s, where Candice assures me they will make someone very happy.

However, I do have a “keeper” side as well. I’m not letting go of the “Mount Rushmore Racing Presidents” bobbleheads. Hey, they are still on the team! The only player/manager still on the Nats out of the 21 other bobbleheads? Current manager (and World Series champion) Dave Martinez. Don’t get me started on what the Lerners have done to this franchise in recent years.

But as we become more serious I also want to be intentional. Take the two items on top of the bookcase by the front door. When I retired from the National Trust, the trustees and staff at Filoli, a Trust site where I had served on the board, presented me with a beautiful work of art carved from a fallen tree on the property. Our daughter Claire is now a member at Filoli (it is about an hour south of Alameda), and she goes 2-3 times a year to take friends and enjoy the gardens, special events, and holiday lights. I want to make sure that she gets this piece at some point, so that she can remember our shared love for that vibrant landscape.

Right next to it sits a clock, that it one of my earliest memories from Grandmother Brown’s house in Franklin. It was on the mantlepiece in her front bedroom, and I still remember the chimes. Grandmother (whose maiden name was Bearden) gave it to my father (Thomas Bearden Brown) who gave it to me. Andrew has already asked if he could have it when I’m ready to pass it along, which only seems fitting since his name is Andrew Bearden Brown. We recently had it restored and the clockworks repaired. It is now ready for another 100 years.

I think about these two items — plus the chairs built by African American craftsmen in Franklin that we brought home after my father passed away because he attached a note saying, “keep them in the family” — and perhaps I am as much a “keeper” as “thrower.”

Janet and Linda ask if it’s better to be a “keeper” or a “thrower” when it comes to downsizing. Quess what? We need both types to get the job done.

(I)t takes a combination of these attributes to successfully downsize a family home. Sometimes that combination comes from various family members; it helps to be tolerant of attitudes different than your own, especially the attitudes of your spouse or your siblings, and to strive to find a balance between those who want to throw out everything and those who need to mull over the many decisions involved.

Slow but steady wins the race, as they say. That’s my new motto for our decluttering project. I’ll keep you posted, because — as I’m always saying — there’s more to come . . .

DJB

---

NOTE: Also on MTC:

• The satisfaction of a well-cleaned garage (June 23, 2012, updated 2021)

---

The Weekly Reader links to the works of other writers I’ve enjoyed.