A former colleague, dear friend, and godfather to our daughter Claire passed away earlier this month. Rest in Peace, Douglas Roller.

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It was March of 1983. The board of Historic Staunton Foundation hosted a party as part of my interview process as a candidate for the position of HSF’s Executive Director. Having just flown in from Atlanta I suddenly had to meet, remember, and have meaningful interactions with all these new people! Memory generally fails on what exactly happened but one remembrance from that evening and the next day’s interview has remained with me through the years.

Doug Roller, an architect and lifelong citizen of this unique and thriving Shenandoah Valley community, was so welcoming, thoughtful, and excited about the city and its preservation possibilities. I’ve never forgotten that first impression. His warm introduction made me feel immediately at home and among like-minded friends. I’ve thought of that often and—when I’m most in the moment—try to provide the same type of embrace when meeting people coming into new and different circumstances.

I was fortunate to be offered the job and smart enough to accept it. Doug and I worked together through the years and that feeling of being in synch was solidified. Doug was the rare individual who could move from being the boss, as my board chair, to then working with me as a colleague on the staff in our architectural position, but he did it with great skill. I’m sure I have forgotten how much I learned from Doug about Staunton’s history and architecture, but what I’ve never forgotten is the depth of his love for that wonderful community and his sense of public service to ensure that it has a great future. Doug’s knowledge of history and architecture, creative spirit, and passion for place have all been evident since we first met, and those qualities have inspired me in so many ways through the years.

Douglas Roller passed away earlier this week. He was preceded in death just six months earlier on December 23rd by his brilliant, funny, impulsive, and clear-headed wife Helena “Tidge” Wetzel Roller. All four of the Browns saw Doug and Tidge last Thanksgiving in Staunton, a visit we will always cherish. We miss them both so very much.

Katie wrote a long and loving post about her father on her Facebook page where I learned so much about Doug’s past as well as his spirit.

“His childhood was an improbable mixture. Born to Paul and Florence (Dundas) Roller in Staunton, Virginia on Saint Nicholas Day in 1939, Doug was a true Virginia gentleman from the start. He had so many wonderful memories of his early childhood. As a young child his Dundas grandparents’ house was the first private home in Augusta County to have electricity, and Doug was fascinated by the giant bank of batteries (batteries!) that the house men would take into town to exchange for charged ones. Some memories were gentler than others. He recalled how effortlessly and brilliantly his father (a classically-trained musician, like most of the Rollers) played the violin even when falling-down drunk. He remembered riding in the backseat of his father’s Lincoln Zephyr with its bulletproof glass partition—when it was closed, he was in his own private world . . .

His childhood went from one extreme to another as he and his beloved mother ended up on their own when he was only nine. After losing his father, he and his mother lived with various relatives for a time before moving to the Virginia School for the Deaf and Blind when she became a houseparent. He was the only child in his friend group who was both hearing and sighted. He gave vivid descriptions of the incredibly long and terrifyingly dark spiral tunnel slides which served as fire escapes for the blind. He learned to skate very fast with his eyes closed. His American Sign Language skills served him well for the rest of his life.”

I had never heard the story of the time at VSDB, but I was aware of Doug’s architectural training and background.

“Doug studied architecture at the University of Virginia and was a Jefferson Fellow. He lived on both the Lawn and the Range (like many in his family before and since) before attending Episcopal Theological School in Cambridge, Massachusetts to ‘test his vocation for the ministry.’ Doug always said the church should be quite thankful that he got over that.

After getting seminary out of his system, he headed off to England with his bride Helena ‘Tidge’ Wetzel Roller in tow, studying at the Institute for the Study of Worship and Religious Architecture at the University of Birmingham (England), all set to become the greatest church architect of the twentieth century. He eventually got over that, too—his words again. He and Tidge then took off to drive all over Europe in a Volkswagen Camper van while photographing and sketching every cathedral within hundreds of miles. He returned with a graduate degree in theological architecture, two black cats . . . and the best surprise of his life: baby daughter Helena ‘Lennie’ Dundas Roller.”

Doug went to work with T.J. Collins and Sons architects in Staunton, where he immersed himself in life and work at Emmanuel Episcopal Church, in helping found Historic Staunton Foundation, in playing an active role in the restoration of HSF’s first project at the Sears House, and in the city’s lively arts scene. Oak Grove Theatre—a long-time part of Staunton arts—was a big part of Doug’s life and legacy. A community theater in more than name, Oak Grove was founded by legendary Staunton residents Fletcher and Margaret Collins (parents of Dr. Francis Collins) in 1954 and Doug held leadership positions in the theatre in addition to acting in countless productions, often alongside Tidge.

We saw all of this as we came to know and love Doug and Tidge during our 15 years in Staunton. More than just a professional peer and colleague, Doug also stepped up to serve as Claire’s godfather when our twins were born. Candice and I had wanted to choose friends who exemplified the spiritual qualities we hoped to pass along to our children, and Doug—a lifelong Episcopalian with a deep love for the church and its traditions—more than filled that role. Claire always appreciated Doug’s kind remembrances through the years and I haven’t forgotten them either. We all treasure the lasting bond Doug and the other godparents have made with our children. With Doug’s passing and the earlier death of John Lane, two of those mentors are no longer with us.

My father often said that growing old is not for wimps. I used to think he was talking about the physical aches and pains that come with the years. But earlier this week I was reading under a shade tree in downtown Takoma Park when I suddenly found myself crying. Instead of cranky knees and sore backs, Daddy may have had in mind the spiritual and emotional pains that come when we lose those who are such a part of our daily lives. In that moment the passage of time and the difficult journeys we all navigate—as was true in the honest and painful memoir I was reading—was what came to mind. Doug’s passing. Remembrances of Tidge and other recent personal losses. Grieving on our 250th anniversary for a country that seems ready to abandon its better angels to the forces of greed, anger, and hatred.

Yes, growing old is not for the faint of heart.

But just as joy is a wonderful first act of insurrection against tyranny, joy in having known those we admire and love as well as joy in looking forward based on remembrance of lives well-lived is key to navigating a world where we do not understand but nonetheless believe. Speaking at another funeral from the past year, the Rev. Frank Wade spoke of how the antidote to the loss of life is more life, embracing life to the fullest. Living with a sense of humor, a positive outlook, acceptance, gratefulness, an open heart, a thirst for learning, a sense of wonder, extraordinary patience, faith, courage, energy, grace. 

Many of those traits are apt descriptions for Doug.

I am so grateful for my decades of friendship with Doug and Tidge Roller. I count myself lucky to have crossed paths with both of them. They also raised three wonderful children, and we have stayed in touch and built our own relationships with that generation. Our family treasures the years we knew Doug and Tidge, and with their passing our love goes out to their eldest daughter Lennie, their two twins Katie and Eric, and all the family.

Given Doug’s love for English cathedrals, this version of the classic hymn Lord of All Hopefulness from the Choir of King’s College Cambridge is a fitting coda.

Rest in peace, my dear friend.

More to come . . .

DJB

Images from Staunton, VA. Doug Roller’s fingerprints were all over the city, from the Sears House (HSF’s first project) to downtown, to the arts scene. His legacy in this Shenandoah Valley community is wide and lasting.