Writer’s Block (photo credit: Center for Documentary Studies)
My very wise grandmother had a saying: “Some folks are born in the objective mood.” My father has noted that his mother did not have a lot of patience with folks who were always complaining and objecting to what others did. My grandparents always had a positive outlook and attitude toward people.
I’m here to let you know that I’m writing this particular post in the objective mood. You’ve been warned!
Have you noticed an epidemic of the misuse of “I” and “me” by people who should know better?
“Me, Zim, Rendon, we’re going to get [right-hander Stephen Strasburg] back soon too, those are all pretty good acquisitions too that you don’t have to give anything up for.”
Aaarrrgh! Jayson Werth’s commentary on the return of the walking wounded to the Nationals lineup was just one of what seems a daily barrage to the grammar senses. I had it drilled into me: never put yourself first in a series. “Zim, Rendon, and me…” Think of others first. How hard is that to remember?
Perhaps I’m in the objective mood because “me” is an object pronoun and it is constantly misused as a subject pronoun. I see it in quotes from athletes. I see it in materials prepared by colleagues. I see it everywhere!
Many of us have been brainwashed to believe that “I” is somehow more correct than “me.” Not so. “I” and “me” follow the same rules as all other pronouns. Would you say, “Please give it to I”? Of course not.
Therefore, when speaking, simply ask yourself if you’re a subject or an object. If you’re an object (“Will you take a picture of Slade and…”), then you must, for the sake of all that is still good in the world, say “me.” And until you master it, a short break from talking about yourself might be in order.
One of the most common grammar errors made by people of all ages is to start a sentence with the word “Me.” For example: “Me and my family will be there at 8,” or “Me and Josh are going to play baseball.” Now’s the time to quit making that mistake. Resolve that you will never goof that way again. Instead, you refer to yourself second in sentences like that, and usually you should use “I” instead of “me.”
Please, think of others first.
The only time “me” works first? Why, Me and Bobbie McGee, of course.
So, a year later Candice and I took an early morning drive to BWI airport with Claire as she heads to her first job in Los Angeles…exactly one year to the day after we left to drive west for her senior year in college. This time, after hugs and kisses, Claire navigated the incredibly long line to check bags through Southwest, missed her original flight, caught a stand-by flight that actually got her into LAX 15 minutes earlier than originally planned, and met up with her friend Susan for a couple of days of visits before orientation begins. Me? After our regular visit to the Silver Spring Farmers Market, I took a very long nap. Quite a different August 1st from last year.
A family celebration at Le Chat Noir’s Sunday Brunch before Claire heads to LA
We celebrated Claire last Sunday over brunch at Le Chat Noir in Tenleytown as she begins her year with the Episcopal Urban Intern Program in Los Angeles. (The Episcopal Urban Intern Program is a year-long service learning project of the Jubilee Consortium – a group of inner city Episcopal parishes in LA working together to affect meaningful social change within their communities). We are all so excited to see what’s next.
Hmmm…I think I feel a west coast trip coming up!
More to come.
DJB
Image: Claire and DJB head out on August 1, 2014, on our “Not All Who Wander Are Lost” cross-country tour (photo by Candice)
Last week I spent three days working in Southeast Utah and the Four Corners region with colleagues from the National Trust and partner organizations on our Ancestral Places of Southeast Utah campaign. Here’s the campaign overview from the Trust’s Saving Places website:
Ancestral Places of Southeast Utah include archaeological sites, cliff dwellings, petroglyphs, and trails that tell stories of diverse people over the course of 12,000 years of human history. The area — mostly federal land managed by the Bureau of Land Management — lacks adequate legal protection and funding to protect its archaeological treasures. In collaboration with tribes and other local, state, and national partners, the National Trust is engaging in research, outreach, and advocacy to protect these iconic cultural sites and landscapes for future generations to appreciate.
In two full days of hiking, I was able to see a handful of the thousands of sites in this beautiful landscape. With Josh Ewing and Vaughan Hadenfeldt — the leadership of the Friends of Cedar Mesa — we visited cliff dwellings, saw petroglyphs, stood amazed at the views from Comb Ridge, and hiked to hidden springs. And always we discussed the challenges of protecting these special places.
Here are a few photos from the hundreds I took along the way.
Cliff Dwellings in the Bears Ears area of Southeast Utah
Panoramic View from the top of Comb Ridge
Petroglyphs in Cedar Mesa
San Juan River Valley with Monument Valley in the distance
On Friday we hiked in Montezuma Canyon with BLM Archaeologist Don Simonis, seeing a variety of fascinating ancestral sites.
Don Simonis explains elements of a restored kiva in Montezuma Canyon
My photographs don’t do justice to this unique landscape, but suffice it to say that this is a place worth fighting for. Thanks to Josh, Vaughan, Don and their teams – along with Amy and Tom from our staff – for allowing me the chance to glimpse a small piece of the wonderfulness of this country and its peoples.
So, you have two guys of approximately the same age (and regular readers will know what that means) in a car driving the six hours from Salt Lake City down to the Southeast Utah town of Bluff (population 150+) through the awesome landscape of red rocks, wide open vistas, mountains, mesas, and deserts.
Navajo Twins in Bluff, Utah
What’s on the musical playlist when you have all day and long stretches of lonesome highway?
Why the Stones (Sticky Fingers, double album with Eric Clapton playing on Brown Sugar). Lyle Lovett and his Large Band. Merle Haggard and Big City. And most appropriately, Leon Russell and the Shelter People singing Stranger in a Strange Land.
What better song to remind you that you’re not in Kansas anymore.
Tom and I certainly tested the speakers in our little rental car. So crank it up!
From deep in the American West (yes, I’m traveling again), here are some photos and very brief observations from the last two-three weeks that I’ve wanted to post…but haven’t found the time. And I’ll begin with a few pictures from Tom Brown’s Excellent 90th Birthday Adventure. (Or the Tom-Tom Palooza, as coined by my niece Rachel.)
The von Brown Family Singers prepare for their big turn in the spotlight at First Baptist Church
Candice and DJB with Tom Brown to celebrate his 90th birthday
A vivid memory from family gatherings from my youth were my uncles Joe, Jimmy, and Paul — along with my Dad — sitting together and watching the children play. Here’s the next generation, although the vice has turned from cigars and pipes (everyone but my father smoked) to beer. Here two of my nieces, their husbands, my brother-in-law Mark, and Candice join me in relaxing by the pool.
The next generation
Claire and Andrew with their Chicago cousins Zoe and Kelsey
Tom Brown with his children (clockwise from upper left) Joe, Steve, Debbie, David, and Carol on July 5, 2015 – his 90th birthday
Tom Brown (yes, the one with the suspenders) with all his family members to celebrate his 90th birthday
And now for something completely different.
We celebrated the start of the new (fiscal) year at work with that great Southern tradition — seersucker. Unfortunately, not too many folks at the National Trust own any seersucker (at least not any that they would be caught dead in out in public), so the brave few posed in front of Common Reader by the artist David Salle (from the collection of The Glass House). And yes, Katherine does look like she has a crocodile dancing on her head!
Seersucker Day, with Brent, DJB, Diana, Katherine, Brendan, and Tom
My favorite seersucker story comes from a former board member at the National Trust and one of my all-time favorite people, the late Bradley Hale from Atlanta, Georgia. Bradley and another partner from the prestigious Atlanta law firm of King & Spalding were in Las Vegas for a convention, and being good Southern gentlemen they went into the bar — wearing their seersucker suits — to get a drink. After a few minutes, when several waitresses passed them by, they stopped one and asked if they could order. Her response? “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were with the band!” Classic.
And finally.
Our Vice President for Historic Sites knows of our family’s love for Claremont, California – home to Pomona College. Katherine’s husband attended graduate school at Claremont, and she headed there for a conference just a few short weeks after Claire’s graduation. She texted me and said, “I’m bringing you home something you’ll enjoy from Claremont,” and the next week the following bumper sticker showed up on my desk.
A wonderful reminder of Some Crust Bakery in Claremont, California. One of our all-time favorite bakeries.
I could almost taste that breakfast slider…or a Valentine’s day cupcake…or the cranurkey sandwich…or their wonderful lattes.
Off to more travels. Look for some updates soon from Cedar Mesa in Southeast Utah.
More to come…
DJB
Image: Claire, Candice, Tom, DJB, and Andrew celebrating Tom Brown’s 90th birthday
Sara Watkins, Sarah Jarosz, and Aoife O’Donovan at Red Wing Roots Music Festival on July 11, 2015
After 12 hours of music on Saturday at a sold-out Red Wing Roots Music Festival in Natural Chimneys Park, I’m going to let the photos speak for Day Two of the festival, with only a few quick observations thrown in along the way.
Scott Miller
Scott Miller is a terrific songwriter and a good performer with a great sense of humor. Is There Room on the Cross for Me? was only one of a number of smartly written songs in his set. Fiddler Rayna Gellert was also a find. Check them out.
I liked Missy Raines and the New Hip better when they were all acoustic. The electric guitarist was good, but her music lost some of its subtlety and just became more noise. That said, she’s still a terrific bass player out flexing her chops and trying new things…and that’s all good.
I’m not sure who booked Nikki Lane for a prime 6 p.m. slot on the main stage, but to my ear a little of her honky tonking trash from Nashville went a long way. She should have been given the 11 p.m. slot and Frank Solivan & Dirty Kitchen should have taken her slot on the main stage.
Sarah Jarosz and Aoife O’Donovan at Red Wing 2015
Sara Watkins at Red Wing Roots Festival 2015
Aoife O’Donovan
Watkins, Jarosz and O’Donovan at Red Wing 2015
Sara Watkins, Sarah Jarosz, and Aoife O’Donovan – the acoustic super-trio I’m With Her – was the best show of the festival for me (and I suspect for many others as well). As highly accomplished singers and players, the music was all of a high quality. They obviously enjoyed playing off each other and blending their beautiful voices into harmonies that could be sweet – or growling – but never dull. As my friend Oakley said, “Worth the price of the festival.” Agreed!
The Steel Wheels – hosts for the Red Wing Roots Music Festival III
Chris Thile of The Punch Brothers at Red Wing 2015
Frank Solivan and Dirty Kitchen at Red Wing III
The hosts for the weekend – The Steel Wheels – were part of Saturday evening’s headliners, and they didn’t disappoint. The Steel Wheels put on their typical high energy show, which had the crowd singing along when they weren’t cheering with delight. The Punch Brothers were the true headliners, and Chris Thile and the boys played their usual masterful…and sometimes musically dense…set. Thile was Thile…all over the place, excited to be there, and musically engaging (when you weren’t scratching your head). Finally, at 11 p.m., Frank Solivan and Dirty Kitchen took the last shift of the night, with a tight 50 minute show for those hard core fans who remained.
Margaret, Candice, DJB, and Oakley at Red Wing III
These four satisfied-yet-tired festival goers enjoyed two days in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. What could be finer than sitting beneath the grandeur of the Natural Chimneys, listening to three beautiful young ladies play amazing acoustic music. So on that note, we’ll go out with two tunes by Watkins, Jarosz and O’Donovan – the first being the John Hiatt tune Crossing Muddy Waters followed by their a capella version of Be My Husband.
The inaugural Red Wing Roots Music Festival in beautiful Natural Chimneys Park held out a great deal of promise as The Steel Wheels pulled together friends and musical heroes for a wonderful three days of music in 2013. So I returned last year for Red Wing II, and found that the festival had grown and built on that promise. Naturally, Candice and I returned this weekend for the third annual Red Wing festival with our friends Margaret and Oakley Pearson from Staunton. This is becoming a habit. The signs of the festival’s growth and increasing popularity are everywhere, beginning with the size of the crowd. Then the line-up gets stronger, as bands and musicians learn about this wonderful, small (compared to Merlefest and Telluride), and welcoming festival with knowledgeable fans. (Folks in the Shenandoah Valley know their music.)
Candice and I were late arriving (don’t ask…part of it had to do with sitting still on I-66 for 20+ minutes), so we missed the first band I was hoping to hear – Mandolin Orange. I enjoyed their music at an earlier festival, and Oakley said they were equally captivating in 2015. We did arrive in time to hear the Colorado-based Elephant Revival, and they were a revelation. Bonnie Paine on washboard, musical saw (thankfully, only one tune), and lead vocals was amazing – leading the band through its blend of Celtic, folk, roots indie music.
Chatham County Line at Red Wing III
The bluegrass band Chatham County Line was up next. I’ve heard their music over the past couple of decades, but had not had the opportunity to see them live. They began with the beautiful Sound of the Whippoorwill, and continued through an engaging hour-long set. For an encore, they brought out members of Mandolin Orange – one of those nice moments that festivals can produce. A change in the line-up brought the band Matuto to the main stage. Their music is described as an Appalachia-gone-Afro-Brazilian sound. Well, I didn’t hear much of the Appalachia piece, but guitarist Clay Ross and accordionist Rob Curto exchanged some mean licks in extended jams, all underpinned by a steady bass. This would be a great band in a New York club (where they are based).
The Travelin’ McCourys
The Travelin’ McCourys – along with special guest Andy Falco of The Infamous Stringdusters – hit the stage hard and kept the pace up with their blend of traditional bluegrass and more progressive sounds. These sons of legend Del McCoury know their traditional music, but they shined while playing some Dawg music, progressive bluegrass, and other tunes outside the boundaries of their dad’s bluegrass. It was especially nice to hear the Tony Rice version of Old Train as played by the band.
Jason Carter of The Travelin’ McCourys at Red Wing III
I’ve heard Jason Carter play his wonderful bluegrass fiddle before, but he has a great lead voice when singing that’s seldom heard (at least in my experience) when he’s playing with the Del McCoury Band. All-in-all a very satisfying show by Ronnie, Rob, Jason, Andy, and bassist Alan Bartram. Which then led to the night’s headliner…the inimitable Robert Earl Keen.
Robert Earl Keen and band at Red Wing III
We were flagging after a very long day, but Keen’s music and breezy, boozy style (he couldn’t remember the name of his “bluegrass drummer” until about three songs into the set) soon won us over. Keen clearly has a huge following, and the quality of the songwriting shows why. When he explained that he had to search to find a “bluegrass drinking song” for his new Happy Prisoner: The Bluegrass Sessions album (because “all my songs are drinking songs”), he then tore into Hot Corn, Cold Corn. His band was all acoustic for this set, and the addition of Kym Warner of The Greencards ensured some hot mandolin picking. We packed it in before the end of the set (Saturday’s music promises to run over into Sunday morning, so we have to pace ourselves)…but it was a good start to a weekend of satisfying music.
Wednesday’s post about my father’s upcoming 90th birthday brought nearly 500 views (huge in my world) and elicited all sorts of comments from family and friends. I heard from the head of the Heritage Foundation in Franklin who said she was “feeling proud that the Heritage Foundation not only saved his beloved Franklin Theatre but the Bearden House too!” (They rescued the house after the city had let it fall into serious disrepair.) A long-time musician friend said he had seen my father earlier in the week and, “He was truly excited about his upcoming birthday celebration.”
Tom Brown
Of course, major birthdays are not without their traumas in our family, and Dad’s 90th is no different. On the day I posted my celebration of all things Tom Brown, he slipped on his patio and dislocated his shoulder. My sisters and brother again came to the rescue, seeing him through an ER visit where they popped it back in place. He’s now in a sling and moving a bit slower, but still ready to celebrate. We’ve spent the past two days with him, and are looking forward to the rest of the weekend.
Of the many comments made about my blog post, one touched me as especially thoughtful and in a way that captured Daddy’s generous spirit. It came from a Facebook post by my nephew Kelsey, as he shared my post with his friends. With his permission I’m sharing it with readers of More to Come in its entirety.
“My Uncle David wrote this wonderful post about my Granddaddy. I’d really recommend everyone who knows me to take the time to read it.
Today the loudest voices of bigotry, in particular regarding race and LGBT issues, are associated with Christians and people from “the South.” My Granddaddy embodies all the best parts of both those groups. He is kind, liberal, and a good man, not in spite of his Christianity or southern-ness, but because of them. I hope that one day, everyone who identifies themselves in such a way is more like my Granddaddy than the people spewing hate on the news.
In honor of my Granddaddy’s 90th birthday, I’d like to add a #91 to David’s list:
91. When I came out as transgender to him via email, I got a simple message back “This is an area in which I am not familiar, so I will have to read up on it. Just rest assured that I love you.” When I went to visit him a few months later, he told me that he appreciated my email, and while it was outside his realm of experience, he still loved me. We went out to dinner later that day, and the waitress commented on him being out with his son and grandson, and Granddaddy smiled at her and told her we were visiting for the weekend.
I can only hope to grow into the kind of man my Granddaddy is. The world could use more men like him.
I couldn’t have said it any better. I am so proud of my father, and I am so proud of Kelsey.
My father is celebrating his 90th birthday on Sunday, July 5th, and the night before fireworks will be set off in his honor all across America!
Daddy told me recently he didn’t think he would live past 73. So while he may not be a very good prognosticator, he still has much to recommend him. That got me to thinking, and in the spirit of my 60 Lessons from 60 Years, I’ve pulled together 90 things about the wonderful life of Tom Brown on the occasion of his 90th birthday. Just like George Bailey in the movie of the same name, life for so many people would be much the poorer if Tom Brown had not lived these 90 years (and counting!).
These are all true, even if they aren’t all factual. If you have others you would like to add, please list them in the comments section below. (And thanks to Candice, Claire, and Andrew for their contributions to this list. Besides being a pretty terrific dad, he’s an amazing grandfather and father-in-law.)
1. Rode his bike to work when biking to work wasn’t cool.
2. Still in love with the woman he married 65 years ago yesterday.
My parents – Helen and Tom Brown – in 1950
3. Rewired our house on Main Street by himself. (I didn’t get those genes, as I can barely screw in a lightbulb!) Of course, Daddy’s college degree from Vanderbilt was in electrical engineering, and his entire work career was with the Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA), so maybe that’s to be expected.
4. Gave up smoking cigars 60 years ago on March 4, 1955 – my birthday – saying that he “couldn’t afford two expensive habits at the same time.” I always thought that was a great line. However, when he was more reflective, he would say that the real reason was that he wanted to set a good example for his children.
5. Is a voracious reader, and passed along his love of books to (most) of his children. He is also a great “gifter” of books (if that’s a word). If he thinks you’ll enjoy one, he’ll just give it to you.
6. Drove around in a VW microbus before Arlo Guthrie and Alice’s Restaurant made them cool.
7. Served our country in WWII.
Navy portrait from 1945
8. Will always welcome a stranger.
9. Has a great smile and uses it often.
10. They know what he wants to eat the second he walks in the door at the City Cafe.
11. When he gives his grandchildren cash for birthday or Christmas gifts, he will add the admonition, “Don’t spend it all in one place.”
12. We saw many a power station and power-generating dam on family vacations. And you could pretty much count on him telling you where the 500 KV line you were driving under at any point both originated and ended.
13. Has amassed an impressive theological library.
14. Is a good friend and stays in touch with people.
15. Swims every morning at the YMCA…and then has a doughnut and coffee with the crew and other patrons.
16. Has great looking legs. Might have something to do with #15.
17. Shamelessly flirts with nurses and physical therapists. That’s a good thing, because it is a sign he’s feeling better.
18. Can’t carry a tune in a bucket, but has always enjoyed great musicians such as Lena Horne and Teddy Wilson.
19. Can float on his back for hours.
20. Took a two-year sabbatical from his long-time church while in his 80s to attend the local Black Baptist Church, because he thought it had more spirit and “showed a little emotion.” He had to leave after a couple of years because he couldn’t keep up with the gymnastics that are part of a truly participatory church.
21. Had great hair as a kid, and didn’t mind it when his children kidded him about it after he went bald.
Tom Brown as a child
22. Even as he is growing older and is hard of hearing, he is just happy to be among family and friends.
23. Fell on his kitchen floor, ended up with two broken legs, and waited several hours for someone to find him. How did they know something was wrong? He hadn’t made it to Sunday evening church services! I told him he needed a better story than he simply tripped while walking toward the sink.
24. Does the crossword puzzle everyday. Usually in ink. It is a habit that both Andrew and Claire have begun.
25. Has an awesome collection of suspenders…and wears them.
Daddy’s suspenders
26. Is aging gracefully, and doesn’t burden you with stories about his health or illnesses.
27. Lent his car to his grandchildren before they had a license so they could practice driving in a mega-church parking lot. I was glad to learn that those suburban mega-churches are good for something.
28. Allowed all five of his children to grow into the people they are, instead of trying to force us into any preconceived molds. The consternation we each caused our parents in different ways and at different times (except for Debbie, who was always the perfect child) must have been hard to live through. But he stuck with his principles.
Debbie, Joe, Carol, Daddy, Mom, Steve, and DJB around 1974…the country-rock band era
29. Took out his first subscription to Mother Jones magazine while in his 70s.
30. Really understands the importance of the separation of church and state, and writes killer Letters to the Editor on the subject, to help educate his neighbors in Middle Tennessee.
31. Does the right thing without telling anyone of what he’s done.
32. Keeps his mother’s memory alive by sharing stories and sayings that he remembers from his childhood. One of my favorites (which I remember Grandmother saying to me on occasion) was “Make yourself useful as well as ornamental.”
Mary Dixie Bearden Brown and George Alma Brown – my grandparents
33. Still follows his mother’s advice and takes his hat off while indoors.
34. Has modeled how to be a wonderful husband and father. So many things I do in both roles, I learned from Daddy.
Tom and David Brown, 1955
35. Loves to read funny stories from the newspaper out loud to his family at the dining room table.
36. The Rev. Will B. Dunn is among his favorite Baptist preachers.
The Rev. Will B. Dunn as featured in Kudzu by Doug Marlette
37. Ensured that his children addressed the two African-American cooks who worked for our Baptist church in Murfreesboro as Mr. and Mrs. Smith – and not by their first names as so many others did. This sign of respect came from his parents. Although he grew up during a time in the South when the races were segregated and his parents were part of that culture, he has written that he never heard them speak insultingly to any black person. His neighborhood was in the old part of Franklin and was an integrated neighborhood, and some of his playmates were black boys in the neighborhood.
38. Was the ticket taker and back-up projectionist at his hometown theatre while growing up – and he returned there in 2011 as the local Heritage Foundation was beginning a restoration. I remember hearing those stories when I was young. Candice and I were delighted to buy a seat in his honor as part of the restoration.
Tom Brown at the Lighting of the Marquee at the Franklin Theatre
39. Isn’t afraid to tell his own story honestly. He once sent the following out to his family: “When I was young I had a poor self-image. I was skinny, not athletic, wore glasses and was not really accomplished in any area. I did fairly well in my studies. As a result I compensated for this by criticizing others. This bad attitude was called to my attention in a peculiar way while I was in the Navy. One day a man said to me, ‘Brown, why do you think everybody but you is full of shit?’ He expressed it very well.”
40. While he self-identifies as a blue-dog Democrat, in reality he is a die-hard liberal by today’s standards, and he is not afraid to speak his mind.
41. Repaired our washer and dryer by himself rather than calling Sears. My long-time friend (and now preservation colleague) Van West said that every time he came to our house and entered through the back door, Daddy had the parts of the washer or dryer spread out across the floor.
42. Proud graduate of Vanderbilt University and a lifelong Vanderbilt sports fan (which can be difficult in the Southeastern Conference).
Proud Vanderbilt graduate
43. Has donated blood all his life…and has the t-shirts to prove it. (And by the way, he irons those t-shirts. Who does that?!)
44. While we were growing up, Daddy could play two songs on the piano: Body and Soul and the St. Louis Blues. To this day, those are two of my top ten favorite songs.
45. Has long been a nuanced thinker about political and social questions, and loves engaging in civil conversations around those questions.
46. Loves all his grandchildren for the people they are…and they are very different!
Tom Brown and a group of his grandchildren on Christmas Eve 2009
47. Slept in small, wet tents on the hard ground just so he could be out with his sons as assistant scout master of Troop 416.
48. Has a very high respect for women and always treats them as equals. One of the things of which Daddy was most proud was the fact that Mom was the first female deacon in the history of First Baptist Church.
49. For years he cooked a breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast five days a week for the entire family, before heading out to work. To this day, when I think of breakfast, that’s the meal that comes to my mind, and I always picture it being made by a man.
50. Hiked muddy, wet, and hot trails at Shiloh and Franklin battlefields during the Civil War centennial of the 1960s because he knew of my love of history.
51. Spent many a Christmas Eve (and spilling over into Christmas morning) putting together bicycles and other gifts for his children. I never understood what love this was…until I was up late on Christmas Eve putting together toys for Andrew and Claire.
Christmas morning 1964
52. Hates University of Alabama football because they beat Vanderbilt by a score of 71-0 in 1945. (The year before, Alabama filled out its team with 17-year olds and young men who were too injured to serve, but not – presumably – to play football. By the time 1945 rolled around they had a year’s experience on everyone and went 10-0.)
53. Is a good man.
54. Always has a positive outlook on life.
55. Has a spreadsheet to remind him to take his pills that only an engineer could construct.
56. Drove to Franklin each week in the summer so he could visit with his mother while I mowed her yard. I think Joe took over as I got older. All in all it was a win-win-win.
Bearden-Brown House in Franklin, where my father grew up and where I mowed the yard during the summers.
57. Likes being out with people. These days that is usually at church gatherings, but years ago he liked to go to the theatre, concerts, and similar places. He is just plain sociable.
58. Is friends with his children. At some point in life, he stopped “being the father” and was very comfortable treating his children as adults who had interesting lives.
59. Enjoyed playing games with his family.
Getting ready for a game of badminton, circa 1950
60. Gail Collins and Molly Ivins are two of his favorite political commentators. Just reading that, you know he likes a little fun – or perhaps devilment – with his op-ed pages. I can’t imagine him reading a stick-in-the-mud such as George Will.
61. Comfortable in his own skin.
62. When he laughs, he has a cackle that leaves the Wicked Witch of the West in the dust.
63. Went out in terrible storms in the middle of the night to ensure that homes in our community had power. Whenever I hear people complain about the local power company not getting their lights on immediately, I think back to my father’s work ethic and sacrifice, and have a great deal of sympathy for those men in the crew.
Tom Brown at the power station at Sewanee, TN
64. Even when he has something negative to say, he does so in a way that doesn’t condemn others. Sometimes he’ll just say, “Consider the source.”
65. Has made wonderful choices for the “next third” of his life, so that he has lived an active, intellectually curious three decades since retirement.
66. Has email correspondents all over the world, and sends out notes to connect with them all on a regular basis.
67. Taught driver safety at the local retirement community…when he was more than 70 years old!
68. Opens up his house to a group of teenage boys from church each week so they can have a place away from their homes to have pizza and talk as a group. Of course, the teenage boys think it is pretty neat that they can go to the home of someone who is almost 90 years old and find a warm welcome. They probably also appreciate the fact that he can’t hear a word they say!
69. Knows his family tree as well as anyone, and still makes all the family reunions.
1966 Bearden Family Reunion
70. Made the decision on his 70th birthday that he was going to get in shape and stay in shape…and he has stuck to that decision now for 20 years. (Do you see a pattern of making decisions on major birthdays?)
71. Has a wealth of great sayings, such as when you call and ask if he’s doing anything, he’ll reply, “No, just the usual sixes and sevens.”
72. Has been known to drive the 30 miles to Franklin on his wedding anniversary, visit the church where he and my Mom were married, and sit and reflect on their life together.
Franklin, TN, my father’s hometown
73. Has a great memory, but says that his “Central Processing Unit (CPU) runs slowly.”
74. Did you know he paid more for his last car than he did for his first home? (Just one of many stories and sayings I’ve heard all my life.)
75. Likes to make “remarks” at family gatherings. He’ll usually type out what he wants to say and will read it aloud when the entire group is gathered. These are among the ways he gives blessings to his family.
76. Co-signed the bank note so I could buy my Gibson mandolin when I was in college. Has always loved hearing his children and grandchildren play music together.
Playing music with my brother Joe (left) and my nephews
77. As an early riser myself, I often walked in on my father reading his Bible and praying in the morning before he would wake up the family and cook breakfast for us…and still make it to work by 7 a.m. It was how he remained centered through the day.
78. Because he went to work so early, he was always home by about 3:30 in the afternoon. That meant he was available for baseball games, school plays, dinner…you name it. He was a very active father.
79. Never differentiated between a “man’s work” and “women’s work” around the house (or outside the house, for that matter). He was our chief cook growing up. He would wash and iron clothes regularly. Especially when my mom began to work outside the home, he did more than his share of the housework.
80. Moved his family to a bigger house (on East Main Street) and brought his mother in to live with us in the rear apartment. He explained why she had to come and live with us, but I suspect he knew that we would all be blessed to have our very wise Grandmother living in the same house. Looking back, that was a wonderful time in my personal growth.
81. Always had a “home improvement project” underway on the East Main Street house. It was a big old house that was lived in, but also well-loved. As they got older, my brothers Steve and Joe made major contributions to these projects.
407 East Main Street, Murfreesboro – The Old Home Place
82. Is a very good patient. Whatever the doctor tells him to do, he does. He is on his second generation Primary Care Physician in Murfreesboro, as he now sees the daughter of his long-time physician.
83. Doesn’t think of himself as old. But he does say that “Growing old is not for wimps.”
84. The Brown and Bearden families had “good names” in Franklin, where he grew up, but he never “got above his raising.”
85. Must have at least 150 pictures of family – present and past – hanging in his house. I always loved this one of Pappy Bearden – my father’s grandfather.
Thomas Bruce Bearden – Our Andrew’s middle name is Bearden, which was my Grandmother’s family name
86. Gives freely of his time, money, and possessions. Things do not mean much to him, but relationships are everything.
87. Gives love freely.
88. Lives with a wonderful understanding of grace. He told us at one point that his mother’s favorite Bible verse was “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that is not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” Ephesians. 2:8-9. In the note to our family, he said that his mother often quoted it to him, and it had the most impact on his life.
89. Is a holy man.
Tom Brown – Thank you for your wonderful life
90. Writes thank you notes for every gift he receives. He’s done it for years. This is our thank you note back for 90 wonderful years of life – 60 of which I’ve been privileged to share with him, 33 for Candice, and 22 each for Andrew and Claire. We can’t imagine a more wonderful father, father-in-law, and grandfather. Happy 90th Birthday, Tom Brown! Love, David, Candice, Andrew, and Claire.
We’ve all heard the saying, “God Works in Mysterious Ways.” A tired trope, right? Not in the hands of President Obama, who gave it fresh and meaningful power in his moving eulogy for the Rev. Clementa Pinckney of Emanuel A.M.E. Church in Charleston. And not in light of the events of the last seven days.
“God Works in Mysterious Ways” was just one of literally dozens of memorable phrases and comments that arose during this most remarkable of weeks. Our part of the world cracked open a door to examine some of its deepest wounds and also saw change for millions who have been denied life’s basic liberties and access to a safe and civil society.
For almost forty minutes in Charleston, Barack Obama reflected on race and the meaning of grace. This was not the carefully constructed speeches on racial divides that he used as a candidate or during his first years as president. This was a deeply emotional and moving reflection that came from experience and spoke with power to those — of all races — who share or work to understand that experience.
In last week’s blog, I commented on the fact that the grace-filled forgiveness of the families of the Emanuel 9 to the alleged killer was the one ray of hope in a very sad situation, but I was quick to assume a pessimistic outlook as to its impact, given that major media reports at the time were not focused on what our rector, the Rev. Dr. Deborah Meister, called “the weapons of Christ” in her sermon on the subject last Sunday.
“When David faced Goliath, Saul tried to clothe him in his own armor: fine armor of bronze, fit for a king. But David realized that he could not even walk in it; it was the tool of a different sort of man. Even so, we must learn to walk in ways that are not the ways of violence. In our popular culture, the villains use guns and bombs — but so do the heroes. Dirty Harry, Luke Skywalker, Rambo, even Harry Potter – all these use violence to fight violence. But the master’s tools can never take down the master’s house. When Nadine Collier, niece of one of the people who were killed in Charleston, confronted the alleged killer and said, “I forgive you. You took something very precious from me. I will never talk to her again. I will never, ever hold her again. But I forgive you. And have mercy on your soul,” she was using the weapons of Christ — and her words did not come cheap. We, too, must learn to fight with the weapons of peace and of true justice, for we work in the name of the Lord of Hosts, who loves those people who are perishing.“
It turns out that the words of the families — and the grace with which they were spoken — did have an impact. I’ll once again turn to the New York Times report to explain the context for how God moves in mysterious ways.
“Mr. Obama joined with others paying tribute in stressing that the 21-year-old white man charged in the killings had failed to achieve his stated goal of inciting racial conflagration. Rather, he said, the killings had the opposite effect, generating an unprecedented show of racial unity and inspiring a nationwide revolt against Confederate symbols.
“It was an act that drew on a long history of bombs and arson and shots fired at churches,” Mr. Obama said, “not random, but as a means of control, a way to terrorize and oppress, an act that he imagined would incite fear and recrimination, violence and suspicion, an act that he presumed would deepen divisions that trace back to our nation’s original sin.”
He paused for effect. “Oh, but God works in mysterious ways,” Mr. Obama said. “God has different ideas. He didn’t know he was being used by God.” The crowd erupted in applause as women waved their hands toward the ceiling.“
I almost cried when I first listened to that part of the eulogy. The Times report continued.
“Mr. Obama commended South Carolina’s Republican governor, Nikki R. Haley, for her call this week to bring down the Confederate flag in Columbia, saying it would be “a meaningful balm for so many unhealed wounds.”
“Removing the flag from this state’s Capitol would not be an act of political correctness,” Mr. Obama said. “It would not be an insult to the valor of Confederate soldiers. It would simply be an acknowledgment that the cause for which they fought — the cause of slavery — was wrong. The imposition of Jim Crow after the Civil War, the resistance to civil rights for all people, was wrong.”
It was one of the most powerful moments in a eulogy full of them – including the President breaking into song with Amazing Grace and having the organist come in to offer support and take the emotion even higher. The note that God moves in mysterious ways was a powerful moment in an emotional conversation about race and grace that must – for the health of our nation and the health of our souls – continue.
Marriage Equality (Or how both my children can now marry the people they love no matter where they may live in America)
Justice Andrew Kennedy had the definitive statement for me in the long-expected but still amazing ruling on marriage equality that came from a divided Supreme Court on Friday.
“It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves.“
These men and women are my family. My co-workers. My friends. Plus millions I do not know. And it is past time that we recognized them not only as children of God — as we all are, in whatever way we understand that phrase — but complete human beings who deserve the same rights and protections as the rest of our country.
The vitriol in the dissents — especially that of Antonin Scalia — demonstrated that we still have a long way to go in this country to address our differences and welcome our fellow human beings with grace. As one admittedly partisan commentator noted, Scalia’s “notion that the court is made up of patrician Ivy League elitists is tested mightily when he offers up legal opinions that sound like they have been culled from newspaper website comment threads.” When pronouncements from Supreme Court justices include sharp personal attacks and practically sputter in their denial of reality, the impact of 30+ years of false victim-hood by cable news, radio, and internet outlets is clear.
Speaking of Reality
The Supreme Court’s Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) decision on Thursday, by a larger 6-3 majority, provided some relief by demonstrating that we still have a government that — when necessary — can face reality. Linda Greenhouse, the Supreme Court observer, noted that “Ideology came face to face with reality, and reality prevailed.” Yet another concise take on the events of the week when God — if not the Supreme Court — moved in mysterious ways.
Universal health care for Americans is something that has been on the nation’s agenda since the Roosevelt administration. That’s Theodore Roosevelt! Every other so-called first-world and industrialized nation in the world has figured out how to do this without blowing up the government, the economy, or health care. Some third world countries have done a pretty good job of it as well. For us…not so much. When I hear that Americans don’t like the Affordable Care Act and don’t want universal coverage, I think of the following: President Obama campaigned in 2008 on providing universal health insurance and won big. Then – with the help of a lot of people who paid for it politically – the Affordable Care Act was passed based on a model that had originally been devised by the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank. Naturally, the new law was derided by conservatives. President Obama ran again in 2012 on a platform of maintaining the ACA against a candidate who promised to repeal the act. Again, he won big. And millions of Americans who didn’t have health coverage before now have it, while those of us who have had health care still benefit from provisions in the law such as being able to keep our children on our policies through their mid-20s and not being punished for pre-existing conditions. Reality is that the program has worked pretty much as advertised.
In discussing how the Supreme Court’s majority came to see the case for the “cynically manufactured and meritless argument” which tried to turn the court into “a partisan tool,” Greenhouse wrote:
“The chief justice’s masterful opinion showed that line of argument for the simplistic and agenda-driven construct that it was. Parsing the 1,000-plus-page statute in a succinct 21-page opinion, he deftly wove in quotations from recent Supreme Court opinions.“
These were all opinions — written by Justice Scalia — which rightly noted that short ambiguous phrases could be easily understood in the context of the law’s purpose and framework. Of course, Gail Collins had a perhaps more direct take:
The court decided — in what opponents decried as a wild leap of judgment — that it was not going to strip millions of people of their health coverage and upend one of the most important pieces of legislation in modern history because of a four-word drafting error.
Reality won. God really does move in mysterious ways.
“Nothing in this world is indifferent to us”
While I am stretching my 7-day time frame a bit, these recent words from Pope Francis’ encyclical on Care for our Common Homefits into the pattern of change. For far too long, we have heard from the religious right that humans are the masters of the universe, and that changes in our climate are either non-existent or not related to human activity. But Pope Francis, writing to all the peoples of the world, speaks from a very different perspective.
“This sister (our common home) now cries out to us because of the harm we have inflicted on her by our irresponsible use and abuse of the goods with which God has endowed her. We have come to see ourselves as her lords and masters, entitled to plunder her at will. The violence present in our hearts, wounded by sin, is also reflected in the symptoms of sickness evident in the soil, in the water, in the air and in all forms of life. This is why the earth herself, burdened and laid waste, is among the most abandoned and maltreated of our poor; she “groans in travail” (Rom 8:22). We have forgotten that we ourselves are dust of the earth (cf. Gen 2:7); our very bodies are made up of her elements, we breathe her air and we receive life and refreshment from her waters.“
Dana Beach of the South Carolina Coastal Conservation League connected the dots between the pope’s encyclical and the events at Mother Emanuel.
“Like the Emanuel AME community, Francis emphasizes the central role love must play in our world, in this case, to stop catastrophic environmental degradation. From his extensive declaration, ‘A sense of deep communion with the rest of nature cannot be real if our hearts lack tenderness, compassion and concern for our fellow human beings.'”
And yet another long and contentious conversation is changed by grace.
Amazing Grace
At some other point I’ll write more about how these themes played out in my work over the past week — where colleagues in Charleston visited Emanuel A.M.E. Church, saw the tangible expressions of concern, support, hope, and prayer that people left in front of the church, and helped the members of Mother Emanuel begin planning for their preservation. Where the National Trust and other preservation groups highlighted landmarks of the LGBT civil rights movement, places that each in their own way helped lead to this week’s ruling. Where colleagues and I met in New York to advance our work to build sustainable and livable cities as part of our common home. But all of that is for another post or two. I want to give President Obama the last word, as he wrapped up his powerful reflection on grace.
“That’s what I’ve felt this week — an open heart. That, more than any particular policy or analysis, is what’s called upon right now, I think — what a friend of mine, the writer Marilyn Robinson, calls “that reservoir of goodness, beyond, and of another kind, that we are able to do each other in the ordinary cause of things.”
That reservoir of goodness. If we can find that grace, anything is possible. If we can tap that grace, everything can change.
Amazing grace. Amazing grace.
(Begins to sing) — Amazing grace — how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me; I once was lost, but now I’m found; was blind but now I see.
Clementa Pinckney found that grace.
Cynthia Hurd found that grace.
Susie Jackson found that grace.
Ethel Lance found that grace.
DePayne Middleton-Doctor found that grace.
Tywanza Sanders found that grace.
Daniel L. Simmons, Sr. found that grace.
Sharonda Coleman-Singleton found that grace.
Myra Thompson found that grace.
Through the example of their lives, they’ve now passed it on to us. May we find ourselves worthy of that precious and extraordinary gift, as long as our lives endure. May grace now lead them home. May God continue to shed His grace on the United States of America.“
MORE TO COME... 