My father sent an email today that seemed appropriate to share given the football glut that is the New Year’s holiday. So here you go – some football wisdom (even if that seems like an oxymoron to baseball fans) from coaches and players of the years of my youth (and before):
“At Georgia Southern, we don’t cheat. That costs money and we don’t have any.” – Erk Russell / Georgia Southern.
“Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless, Beat Texas.” – Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.
“After you retire, there’s only one big event left….and I ain’t ready for that.” – Bobby Bowden / Florida State (who finally retired yesterday on January 1, 2010)
“When you win, nothing hurts.” – Joe Namath / Alabama
“Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.” – Lou Holtz / Arkansas
“If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password: “Roll, tide, roll!” – Bear Bryant / Alabama
“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.” – Frank Leahy / Notre Dame
“There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.” – Woody Hayes / Ohio State
“I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.” – Bob Devaney / Nebraska
“In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.” – Wally Butts / Georgia
“You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life.” – Paul Dietzel / LSU
“It’s kind of hard to rally around a math class.” – Bear Bryant / Alabama
When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world: “No, but you can see it from here.” – Lou Holtz / Arkansas
“There’s one sure way to stop us from scoring-give us the ball near the goal line.” – Matty Bell / SMU
“Lads, you’re not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died.” – Frank Leahy / Notre Dame
“I never graduated from Iowa, because I was only there for two terms – Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.” – Alex Karras / Iowa
“My advice to defensive players: Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor.” – Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee
“I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades.” – Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State
“I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn’t recruit me and he said: “Well, Walt, we took a look at you and you weren’t any good.” – Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State and NFL star
“Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.” – Bobby Bowden / Florida State
“Football is not a contact sport – it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.” – Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State
After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team: “All those who need showers, take them.” – John McKay / USC
“If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.” – Murray Warmath / Minnesota
“The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.” – Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
“Oh, we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon.” – Spike Dykes / Texas Tech
“We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches.” – Darrell Royal / Texas
“We didn’t tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking.” – John McKay / USC
“Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad – Darrell Royal / University of Texas
“I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.” – Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
“Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football” – John Heisman
So there you have it. If you want to know what I really think about football quotes vs. baseball quotes take a look at Do I Love Baseball Quotes? You Betcha! No contest.
More to come…
DJB
