These are difficult, even soul crushing times for many of our fellow travelers. Dreams are dashed on the rocks of hatred, greed, and revenge. Belief in our country and in our fellow citizens has been put to the test.

It has always been thus. There have always been difficult times. If we are honest, privilege has shielded many of us from the worst the world has to offer. But that’s not true for so many others, past and present.

However . . . there is also much to celebrate in the world. As Angus Hervey has written on his Fix the News Substack, “realistic optimism isn’t naïve. It’s armor. It helps us face a challenging, sometimes frightening future with resilience.”

“Two things can be true at the same time. The same decade that’s given us a pandemic, populism and record temperatures has also produced the greatest ever expansion of global electricity access, record low murder rates in the United States, and the legalisation of same-sex marriage on every continent save one. We are winning the war on cancer, more than half the world’s children now get a high school education, and while climate disasters dominate headlines, renewable energy has grown so fast that global emissions may already have peaked.”

I do not want to make light of the troubles in the world. But I believe there is a better way to respond to today’s challenges than giving in to despair.

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RESPONSIBILITY: OUR ABILITY TO CHOOSE A RESPONSE

It is easy to be grateful when everything is going well. It is in the more challenging times, however, when it is so very important to be open to gratefulness and to remember to be thankful. The Dutch priest and theologian Henri J.M. Nouwen had the following to say about gratitude even when we face pain, rejection and isolation:

Gratitude as a discipline involves a conscious choice. I can choose to be grateful even when my emotions and feelings are still steeped in hurt and resentment. It is amazing how many occasions present themselves in which I can choose gratitude instead of a complaint. I can choose to be grateful when I am criticized, even when my heart responds in bitterness. I can choose to speak about goodness and beauty even when my inner eye still looks for someone to accuse or something to call ugly. I can choose to listen to the voices that forgive and to look at the faces that smile, even while I still hear words of revenge and see grimaces of hatred.”

From The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming

This paragraph packs a lot of possibilities for despair into a few short sentences. We can let our emotions rule our lives. We can respond to criticisms with bitterness. We can look for others to scapegoat. We can seek out the voices of revenge and hatred.

Or we can consciously choose gratitude.

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CHOOSING GRATITUDE ISN’T ALWAYS EASY

Gratefulness—a recognition that no one lives, creates or acts in a void—contributes to our personal well-being. And out of gratefulness comes thanksgiving. The kindnesses that often accompany those expressions have deepened my appreciation for the power of the simple words “thank you.” For many of us their potency took on even greater significance during the isolation of the pandemic.

Choosing to be grateful isn’t always easy. In times when all hope seems lost, it helps me to have a few signposts to help guide my way.

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MAKING GRATITUDE AND THANKFULNESS A DAILY PRACTICE

If you feel the need to hone your skills at feeling grateful—and then saying thank you in response—here are some tips I’ve used which may be helpful as you search for the ways to recognize the goodness that is around us.

First, be intentional.

Richard Rohr suggests an attitude of gratitude is necessary to be thankful in difficult times, a deliberate choice of love over fear, a desire to be positive instead of negative. If we are not “radically grateful” every day, resentment can take over. Fighting the power to see the worst in the world takes constant effort.

Be fully aware.

Gratitude comes when we are fully aware, writes David Steindl-Rast. We see something that connects us to things beyond ourselves and to a sense of belonging. That, in turn, leads us to think in terms of giver, gift, and receiver.

Gratefulness turns into thankfulness … Gratefulness is full awareness; thankfulness is thoughtfulness.

Study the language of great writers and mentors.

Acknowledgements are one form of saying thanks. Grace Bialecki is a fan of the acknowledgements authors often include in their works, suggesting we can learn language that gifted writers use to thank others to the benefit of our own gratitude practice. “The language authors use to thank their friends and family is inspiration for both thank-you cards and daily life.”

It wasn’t until I was in my forties that I came to focus on both the language and deep impact of saying thanks. Our CEO wrote with a sincerity and depth that conveyed appreciation for the work of others. I studied their thank you notes to pick up the rhythm of the sentences, favorite words, and the values that served as a foundation for their work.

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JUST DO IT

My grandmother believed in saying “please” and “thank you.” She taught my father to write thank you notes and he followed her advice until he died at age 90. My parents taught their children the same lessons. I’ve always written thank you notes and try to be intentional in verbally giving thanks as often as possible. Anyone can take up the practice.

No matter where you are in life, you can start your personal “radically grateful” practice today. First, spend time to think about the goodness in your world.

Next, take small steps. Stop and say thank you today to the person sweeping the trash from the sidewalks. Tip your server a bit above what’s expected and tell them how much you appreciated the service. Write an email to someone you’ve lost touch with over the years. Not only tip the busker on the street corner, but stop and listen to their music and then thank them for bringing their art into the world.

Finally, write a thank you note to someone who has helped make your world, and ours, better.

You’ll both feel better for it.

More to come…

DJB

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*NOTE: During a period of travel I’m returning to a few old chestnuts on MORE TO COME. Today’s post primarily relies on an essay from 2023.

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This is the third post in a trilogy for August. You can find the first and second posts by clicking the links.

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Image: Free-Photos from Pixabay