Annual Super Bowl Rant

NFL Brain Diagram via SportsPickle.com

NFL Brain Diagram via SportsPickle.com

I thought I would just be upfront about it, and title this post accurately.  No alternative facts here, folks – just truth in advertising!

Ever since Super Bowl 48, when I famously (at least in my mind) declared it to be my last, I’ve gone back and explained why it is time to give up on the NFL.  Surprisingly, they still play the thing, and here we are at Super Bowl 51.  (Reason #10 I gave up on the NFL was those stupid Roman numerals.)

So, here we are on Super Bowl Saturday, and I’ll just give you a few more reasons you may want to go to your local theatre and watch Hidden Figures – my early front-runner for Best Picture of the Year.

(And since I gave you ten perfectly good reasons back in 2014, I’ll begin with reason #11.)

11.  It’s the damn Patriots.  Again.  Is there anyone more insufferable in sports than Bill Belichick/Tom Brady? (Wait, I’ll answer that.  Maybe Coach K. But that’s another post. And I know that Belichick and Brady are actually two people, but I’ve grouped them as one because they synch their grating to perfection.)  They push rules up to the line and over, and then act like their sainthood has been challenged when they are caught.  I hate Roger Goodell – he of the $40 million+ salary as a nonprofit executive (seriously) – but even I don’t wish for a Patriots victory so he has to eat crow and give them the trophy the year after Deflategate.

12.  The game is on FOX.  OMG.  You will recall that the last time FOX carried the Super Bowl, fans were subjected to Bill O’Reilly’s Gift for the Ages – otherwise known as the highly disrespectful “interview” of President Obama by the FOX News blowhard and original spinner of alternative facts.  So this year, will we be treated to the coronation of King Donald by Sean Hannity?  Will we learn that the most recent jobs report (the reporting period of which ended prior to Trump’s inauguration) reflects what a tremendous job Donald is doing?  (The Best!) Will we also learn that jobs report reflects the 76th consecutive month of job growth – the longest on record?  (That’s a trick question.  Of course we won’t.)  And once the annual game begins, will Donald finally get his military parade?  (That’s also a trick question, since FOX has been militarizing sports for decades.)

13.  It is all about the concussions.  Troy Aikman, who is providing color commentary for the game on FOX, says he cannot remember a playoff game that he won, due to a concussion that he suffered during the game.  Concussions are serious.  ‘Nuff said.

That’s enough ranting for this year.  And by the way, pitchers and catchers report in 9 days.

Winter bad.  Baseball good.

More to come…

DJB

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