The New Year is a time when many begin thinking of resolutions, perhaps focused on personal ways to respond to our current reality. I have come to believe that our vision needs to grow. “Our human task” suggests poet and essayist Jane Hirshfield, is to acknowledge “the fullness of things.”

Writer Kathryn Schulz reminds us that “We live remarkable lives because life itself is remarkable.” She counts her days as exceptional even when they are ordinary. And in that spirit Mary Oliver‘s “paradoxical resolution” remains a timely reminder.

To live in this world 
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

“Here is the world,” Frederick Buechner wrote. “Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”

Since 2013, I have taken a different route away from annual resolutions. That year I established several rules of how I want to live day-to-day. Essayist Maria Popova calls her similar list “life learnings” and she begins her excellent choices with one that I’ve also discovered over time: “Allow yourself the uncomfortable luxury of changing your mind.“

Designed to help direct me during both good and difficult times, my rules came as the result of a more intentional focus on life’s journey rather than relying on a changing list of resolutions to respond to the challenges of the moment. These personal guidelines are not quite principles but rather serve as reminders of how I want to live over time.

As has been the case in recent years, I highlight each rule followed by a reference to a MORE TO COME essay providing context and examples for these personal rules. They are given to provide hope in the remarkable nature of life, even in the midst of trying, liminal times.

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Rule #1. Be grateful. Be thankful. Be compassionate. Every day.

I came across an online post written by a fan of author acknowledgements. She encouraged others to read them in order to learn language that gifted writers use to thank others, to the benefit of our own gratitude practice. Turning gratitude into thankfulness (March 13th) spoke to the importance of thanking others and provided four tips to lead toward being “radically grateful.”

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Rule #2. Exercise six days a week for the rest of your life. 

Building movement into each day doesn’t mean we have to endure joyless stints at the gym. Walking as an act of citizenship (January 26, 2016) is a reminder that one of the best benefits for your health is also beneficial for your life in community. “Walking is only the beginning of citizenship,” writes Rebecca Solnit, “but through it the citizen knows his or her city and fellow citizens . . . Walking the streets is what links up reading the map with living one’s life.”

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Rule #3. Listen more than you talk.

I’ve mentioned before how much work remains for me in the context of this life goal. Nonetheless, I keep trying. Singer, songwriter, and poet Carrie Newcomer suggested a good way to get others to open up, so you can simply listen, which I recounted in Simple but not easy (November 11th).

An open-hearted question is a beautiful way to get to know another person. When I’m at a gathering and meeting new people I often like to ask opening questions that go beyond the usual “what do you do”. I often ask questions like “what gave you life this year” or “What were you grateful for this week”. People will sometimes look at me like I have seven heads, but then they will launch into the most wonderful stories. I always feel grateful for the story and feel I got to know the person much better than if I had asked the usual fare.

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Rule #4. Spend less than you make. 

In Margareta Magnusson’s witty look at how to age gracefully she encourages us to live within our means . . . always good advice no matter our stage along the journey. Magnusson’s book is full of great suggestions for a happier next third of life, which I explore in Living exuberantly (September 25th).

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Rule #5. Quit eating crap! Eat less of everything else. 

I thought a great deal about this rule, from both a health and values point of view, in 2023. Aligning the way we eat with our values (April 13th) speaks to the latter, as I preview a lecture around faith, food, and ethics.

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Rule #6. Play music.

This fall I wrote of a song that I play at least once a week while practicing in our den/music room. For decades I played Sittin’ on Top of the World (November 25th) as a bluegrass tune, but over the past few years, I’ve pretty much turned to the bluesy finger-style version that I learned from Chris Smither. It gave me another perspective on the music.

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Rule #7. Connect and commit. 

In From certainty to mystery (March 4, 2023), I used the occasion of my birthday to consider a few things I still wanted to accomplish, two of which relate to this life rule. First, make sure that the people I love and care about know that without question. Second, be gratefully aware, not just every day but every hour in a way that leads to true thankfulness.

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Rule #8. Don’t be a grumpy old man. Enjoy life! 

Nothing shows how much I’m succeeding at this life rule better than Our Year in Photos — 2023.

And that’s it! As you can see, I’m working to live into Kathryn Schulz’s admonition to treat each day as the exceptional experience it is while doing my best to bash into some joy along the way.

Best wishes for a wonder-filled and remarkable 2024. As you welcome the New Year, consider making gratefulness, thankfulness, and compassion an everyday practice. I can recommend the effort!

More to come…

DJB

Image from free photos on Pixabay.