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Stop talking and listen

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Old habits can be very hard to break. Case in point: my difficulty in breaking out of the mold of being a stereotypical male.

I’m reminded of this far too often and in many different ways. However, one of the more consistent occurrences involves listening. Or, to be more accurate, not listening.

The stereotype is that men are encouraged, and even trained, to be the center of attention. It is a stereotype, in this case, because it is usually true. Studies show that boys are called on more in school, that boys grow up to become men who talk more in meetings, and that we interrupt women more than we interrupt men.

Most of the time I fall into this pattern of interruption because I’m not thinking. But a few times I do it knowingly and with the best of intentions. That was the case earlier this year when I found myself talking over a friend to “help her” explain something that I thought might be difficult to articulate. Not because she isn’t a smart, articulate person, but because I perceived it could be an emotionally difficult subject.

Bad decision.

I interrupted her attempt to talk to me. Later, when I was home and reflecting on the conversation, I realized that I didn’t really know how she felt, because I had spoken over her and inserted my perceptions over hers. The next time we spoke I apologized. And then I asked if she would talk while I promised to be quiet and listen. But the moment had passed and she couldn’t remember, or didn’t want to return, to the topic.

So both my friend and I lost out by my decision to talk instead of listen.

Listening is an act of love. However, as much as I try to act out of love for others, this is obviously a part of my practice in life that needs more work. Recognition is only part of the solution. Active, intentional listening requires more.

In Rebecca Solnit’s insightful new book Whose Story is This? Old Conflicts, New Chapters, the author quotes the actor Chris Evans, in the context of the #MeToo movement, as saying of well-meaning men, “The hardest thing to reconcile is that just because you have good intentions doesn’t mean it’s your time to have a voice.”

Men who are privileged (virtually all white males) and who have power often complain or push back about being made to feel uncomfortable. Solnit makes the point that, “Comfort is often a code word for the right to be unaware, the right to have no twinges of one’s conscience, no reminders of suffering, the right to be a ‘we’ whose benefits are not limited by the needs and rights of any of ‘them.'”

Solnit suggests that, “The world is an uneven surface, with plenty to trip on and room to reinvent.” Her opening essay ends with this equal parts hopeful and challenging observation:

“This country has room for everybody who believes that there’s room for everybody. For those who don’t—well, that’s why there’s a battle about whose story it is to tell.”

In thinking back, and then looking forward, to my conversations, I’m trying to listen with love. To push myself out of the need to feel comfortable. And, even, to reinvent my world to be a more inclusive place.

In other words, to be open to the fact that it isn’t always my story to tell.

More to come…

DJB

Installment #14 of The Gap Year Chronicles

Dolly Parton, an American treasure

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Few people—much less entertainers and celebrities—can bring together blue and red Americans, straight and gay communities, grandmothers and granddaughters, rich and poor.

Dolly Parton — who we highlight in this Saturday Soundtrack — bridges those divides, and more.

As Dolly celebrates her 50th anniversary on the Grand Ole Opry this year, NBC will be airing a two-hour celebration of the occasion on November 26th. With a new podcast called “Dolly Parton’s America” and a new Netflix series, Dolly is everywhere.

At a time when the marginalization of women in country music is being called out more and more forcefully, it is important to realize that Dolly’s been in that fight for half a century. And often winning it, always very much on her own terms.

Growing up near Nashville in the 1960s, I was first introduced to Dolly and her exceptional gifts through the Porter Wagoner TV show where she was featured as the “girl singer.” But she had higher aspirations, and over the course of 50 years has earned the affection so many bestow upon her. She is well known as an entertainer, but her songwriting talent is now recognized as among the best in popular music.

Writer Mary Elizabeth Williams has a recent article in Salon on why Dolly is such a force of nature. Williams writes,

“Dolly Parton is, quantifiably, one of the most loved personalities in the world. She’s also a deceptively complex American figure. On a superficial level, she’s a twangy blonde with a wig collection to rival RuPaul, a body that defies the laws of physics and a proudly gaudy sartorial aesthetic. ‘It costs a lot of money to look this cheap,’ she’s famously explained. But you don’t have to look very far under the rhinestones to see that she’s one our greatest American songwriters, a virtuoso musician, an actress, an entrepreneur, a philanthropist and what your mom used to refer to as just plain good people. Her larger-than-life persona makes her a great entertainer. Her intelligence and authenticity make her an icon.”

There’s so much of Dolly’s musical catalog to explore, and I definitely recommend what Parton self-describes as her “sad ass songs” from the early years. Here she was often taking traditional murder ballads like Knoxville Girl and recasting them from the woman’s (i.e., the victim’s) point of view. She also has written great songs of empowerment, such as Coat of Many Colors, a fantastic song about not letting poverty, and others’ point of view, change your self perception.

“But they didn’t understand it, and I tried to make them see
One is only poor, only if they choose to be
Now I know we had no money, but I was rich as I could be
In my coat of many colors my momma made for me”

Dolly has penned some of the best lines in country music, like, “In my Tennessee mountain home, life is as peaceful as a baby’s sigh.” One of my favorites is, “You don’t know love from Shinola.”

“Your attitude stinks and I hate it
You’re arrogant, cocky and rude
You’re selfish, conceited and jaded
Everything’s all about you
You think that I’m lucky to have you
You think you’re so handsome, so what
I’m callin’ you out cause I don’t need this crap
I’m gettin’ myself outta Dodge
Cause you don’t know love from Shinola”

But being a bluegrass fan from way back, I was thrilled when Dolly turned her attention to her roots in that music with 1999’s The Grass is Blue. Her next two albums, Little Sparrow in 2001 and 2002’s Halos & Horns, carried on a similar vein. The latter included the wonderful “I’m Gone”—one of my favorite Parton tunes because it so clearly captures the “I’m in charge of me” part of Parton’s persona in the humorous way that endears her to so many.

“You can tell the truth or you can lie
You can say I left you or I died
Say I’m in the Himalayas on some spiritual quest
And could spend years lookin’ for the light
Say I’m in the witness program with the F.B.I.,
Say a U.F.O. abducted me from home
You can say what you chose, but I tell you the truth
You can say for sure I’m gone, ’cause I’m gone”

Williams’ article also covers Dolly’s ability to connect with so many, her status as “a full blown hero” cemented by her “supreme grace.”

“When an embittered Porter Wagoner sued his star protégé for breach of contract, she simply settled out of court. When he fell on hard times later, she bought his songwriting catalogue and then gave it back to him, because, as she recalls on Dolly Parton’s America, ‘I wanted his kids to have it. That was one of my gifts thanking him.’

When the scientists behind the world’s first cloned sheep named her Dolly — because she sprang from a mammary gland cell, GET IT? — Parton laughed it off by inviting her woolly namesake to visit Dollywood. And when she wanted to honor her father, who had to quit school to support his family and never learned to read, she started her Imagination Library. Since 1995, it’s given away over 100 million books to children around the world. Those are the actions of a person whose seat of power comes from a place of profound compassion.”

A true treasure. Happy anniversary, Dolly.

More to come.

DJB

Governor's Commission presentation

R.I.P. Virginia Governor Gerald L. Baliles, Advocate for preservation

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(Note: Slightly revised versions of this appreciation ran in the National Trust’s Forum newsletter, on LinkedIn, and on social media pages for Preservation Virginia and other preservation organization.)

Former Virginia Governor Gerald L. Baliles, who passed away on October 29th at age 79, has been appropriately recognized as a quiet but effective leader. His “boldly cautious” style was credited for gains in increasing the number of women and minorities in statewide leadership positions, as well as for increased support for transportation and the environment.

But the Jerry Baliles I remember was also one of the most effective advocates for historic preservation at a time when development pressures in Virginia were pushing forward at the expense of its past. His leadership led to much needed changes at the state level that played an important role in all that has happened to save the best of Virginia’s past in the almost three decades since the end of his term as governor in 1990.

During his campaign for governor, Jerry met with representatives of the state’s preservation community. He listened intently to the challenges we put before him and promised, if elected, to be a friend of historic preservation.

He was true to his word, and soon he could be found at historic sites, Main Streets, and in older neighborhoods around the Commonwealth, promoting the benefits of preservation. Jerry had a special place in his heart for Thomas Jefferson’s Bedford, Virginia, retreat—Poplar Forest—which had just been purchased by a group of citizens who fought to save it from inappropriate use and encroaching development. Jerry helped promote the rescue and restoration effort, serving as Chairman of the Governor’s Campaign to help fund the restoration. Because of his personal interest, he became the first governor since Thomas Jefferson to sleep overnight in the retreat, which was still in its pre-restoration condition.

While Virginia had world-class historic resources, its public sector program had not received the financial and political support required of a state with such a rich legacy. A  broad cross-section of preservation, conservation, and Main Street organizations put forth a proposal for a gubernatorial commission to recommend a path forward. Jerry liked the idea, and on April 10, 1987, he created the Governor’s Commission to Study Historic Preservation. It was a highlight of my professional career when Jerry asked me to chair this blue-ribbon panel.

A Future for Virginia's Past
A Future for Virginia’s Past: The Final Report of the Governor’s Commission to Study Historic Preservation (1988)

The 23 men and women who made up the commission came from diverse backgrounds, including preservation, law, business, development, housing, government, and education. Over the course of 18 months, the commission held hearings across the state to listen to citizens about the importance of preserving the past, worked with experts from across the country, and prepared a comprehensive report submitted to the governor on November 3, 1988.

The report included 32 specific recommendations which ranged from calls to increase the clout and visibility of the state program and better review of state actions that affected historic resources, to suggestions for strengthening local government programs and providing financial support and incentives for preservation.

It is a testament to Jerry’s skill that the majority of the recommendations were included in a successful bill put before the General Assembly by Delegate Whittington W. Clement in 1989. Chief among the law’s provisions was the establishment of the Virginia Department of Historic Resources and the establishment of a statewide preservation revolving fund, the latter operated since 1999 by Preservation Virginia. Those changes established a new level of support for preservation in state government and helped a statewide coalition of more than 160 organizations learn how to advocate effectively on preservation issues with the administration and state legislature. Both were critical in ensuring passage in the following decade of the state’s transformational historic rehabilitation tax credits. Virginia’s Historic Rehabilitation Tax Credit program has played an essential role in the preservation of thousands of historic properties since its inception, stimulating $4.5 billion in private investment since 1997.

Jerry’s work in historic preservation didn’t end with the Governor’s Commission, as his administration also led the effort to restore the historic Executive Mansion on Capitol Square in Richmond. Designed by Alexander Parris in 1813, it is the oldest occupied governor’s mansion in the United States. And while he was known as the “transportation” governor, he understood that building and improving infrastructure depended upon sound cultural and natural resource data. He took personal interest as governor in ensuring that state projects would not adversely affect Virginia’s landscape.

Jerry spoke to the importance of preservation, when he addressed the commission in July of 1987.

“With so much history within our Commonwealth, we have an especially pressing responsibility to keep our rapid growth balanced with a respect for the past…But preservation is not reverence. Preservation is, rather, a tool to manage change.”

After he left the governor’s office and I moved to the Washington area, Jerry and I would connect every couple of years. The last time was in early August, at the funeral of our mutual friend Anne Worrell. Jerry spoke at that funeral, and I had the chance to catch up with him and wish him well. He spoke eloquently of Anne’s work in preservation, but was obviously frail from the cancer that would take his life less than three months later.

Jerry Baliles was an important public sector advocate for historic preservation at a critical point in the history of the movement. All who care about the future of our past — and not just Virginians — owe him a debt of gratitude.

Rest in peace.

More to come…

DJB

Image at top: Presentation of the Governor’s Commission on Historic Preservation report to Gerald L. Baliles, November 3, 1988

View of the Capitol

Let’s go 1-0 today

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Saturday’s rally to celebrate the Washington Nationals World Series Championship was—intended or not—a masters class in leadership and team building.

The lessons were outlined by speaker after speaker from the stage, and they began with a facing of reality.

Before he passed away in 2017, Max DePree was the retired CEO of the furniture and design pacesetter Herman Miller. Through the years I’ve come to appreciate his definition of leadership, and especially his thoughts on the responsibilities of leaders. DePree said that the first duty of a leader is to define reality.

On May 24th, with almost a third of their season over, the Nationals record stood at 19-31. Twelve games under .500. Their chance of winning the World Series on that date was a miniscule 1.5%. From the outside, it appeared that the reality wasn’t good.

But there were reasons—primarily but not exclusively a rash of injuries to key players—that led to the bad start, and the reality was that those injured players were beginning to return. It was also clear that some elements of the team—for example the relief pitching—were not working as planned and changes were needed to fix those particular problems. The team’s management, understanding this reality, didn’t panic, although the fan base and most pundits were writing them off. Those injured players returned, changes were made to the pitching staff, and the level of play immediately improved.

The second lesson we heard on Saturday was to address the things you can address, and don’t get caught up in the overwhelming nature of the task ahead.

Manager Dave Martinez began telling his players, “Let’s go 1-0 today.” That was the thing over which they had some measure of control: they could work hard to win that day’s game. If the team had focused on what they had to overcome to win the World Series, there would have been no rally on Saturday. Instead, as Martinez explained, they focused on winning the day. And he made the point to the crowd that we should all wake up tomorrow with the same thought: Let’s go win the day.

The third lesson came from General Manager Mike Rizzo, who noted that everyone was on the same page.

While others were shoveling dirt on their figurative graves and counting them out, the team itself was focused. “Not one person pointed a finger, no anonymous quotes, no clubhouse lawyers, no backbiting,” Rizzo told the crowd. The longest-tenured National and face-of-the-franchise player Ryan Zimmerman put Rizzo’s role this way: “He’s huge on chemistry and clubhouse stuff, not bringing in bad teammates, not bringing in bad guys. Before he makes, really, any sorts of moves, he will reach out to us and ask if we’ve heard anything about this player or that player.”

In an age awash in data, the Nationals cared about chemistry as much as what’s quantifiable. It was never about one person, but it was about the team. Max DePree was famous for his support of inclusive corporations, and that’s what the Nationals were building.

The fourth lesson was simple. Have some fun. This isn’t brain surgery.

When Gerardo “Baby Shark“ Parra was added to the team in May, coming off the baseball scrap heap, he looked around and asked, “Why’s everyone so tight?” So he proceeded to choose a silly children’s song that his 2-year-old likes as the walk-up tune to be played when he came to bat, leading to an entire stadium making shark-like chomping motions with their hands and a huge boost in sales of shark costumes in the Washington region. He found some funny looking rose-colored sunglasses while the team was in Detroit and began wearing them every day and every night in the dugout. With other Nationals, Parra instituted a dugout dance party, where every player who hit a home run had to come into the dugout and dance while his teammates clapped hands and beat the water coolers like a drum. He even instituted a group hug for famous pitcher—and famous introvert—Stephen Strasburg after an especially meaningful Game 3 outing in the League Championship Series.

Some things are very serious. But for much of work and life, adults who feel the need to always be “mature” take away the joy that is there just below the surface.

Baby Shark pin
Championship buttons – including a Baby Shark pin

The final lesson: not every destination will be reached by traveling the superhighways of life.

When the Nationals won the League Championship round to gain their first World Series berth in franchise history, Manager Dave Martinez was asked about the journey from 19-31 to the game’s top showcase. He said he was reminded of something his mother told him.

“Bumpy roads often lead to beautiful places.”

Simple, but true.

Baseball is loved by so many people because of how it uses a game to showcase life lessons. At a rally attracting tens of thousands of people on Saturday, we learned several lessons on leadership and team-building:

  • Understand your reality.
  • Go and win the day.
  • Build an inclusive team chemistry.
  • Have fun, this isn’t brain surgery.
  • And remember, bumpy roads do lead to beautiful places.

More to come…

DJB

Image: Fans gather along Pennsylvania Avenue to cheer on their World Series Champion Washington Nationals by DJB

View of the Capitol

And now we dance!

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Scenes from today’s Washington Nationals World Series Championship Parade through downtown DC. N-A-T-S Nats! Nats! Nats! Woo!

DJB and CCB
DJB with Candice and her Baby Shark decal

We ended up watching the parade from some steps along 6th Street, N.W., where it intersects Constitution Avenue at the National Gallery of Art.

View of the parade route
Our view of the parade route (with help from the Jumbotron)
Mad Max Scherzer
Mad Max Scherzer (arms raised in the middle of the bus) – who started Game 7 of the World Series – gets great reaction from the crowd

The souvenir vendors were out in force, including with the Baby Shark pin.

Baby Shark pin
Championship buttons – including a Baby Shark pin

After every Nationals home run from about June 1st on, the team would gather around the batter who hit the dinger and they would have a dugout dance party. Invariably, announcer F.P. Santangelo would say, “And now we dance!” Today was a home run to beat all home runs…and we all danced!

And Now We Dance
And Now We Dance

A great way to end the most exciting year, and the most amazing month, of baseball in Washington, D.C.

Congratulations to the World Series Champion Washington Nationals!

More to come…

DJB

May Your Kindness Remain

Saturday Soundtrack: Courtney Marie Andrews

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In the summer of 2018, I had the chance to hear alt-country singer Courtney Marie Andrews live at a small venue in Washington, DC. Andrews was touring to showcase her just released album May Your Kindness Remain, and I was impressed by the honesty of the lyrics, the soulful power of her vocals, and—perhaps most importantly—the defiance in the songs. It was a defiance that pushed back against melancholy. Against the struggles we all face.

The acoustic version of Took You Up is a good example of her work.

And the lyrics of May Your Kindness Remain speak to the connectivity she finds with people while living the life of the road musician.

You’re a good woman, and a good friend
You’ve got a good heart, even when it’s busted and bent
Lipstick and perfume, underground queen
Wearing loneliness like a costume, for the whole world to see
And if your money runs out, and your good looks fade
May your kindness remain

. . .

The richest of people aren’t rich with houses, cars, or fame
No, they’re not rich with something that can be bought, or arranged
No, it’s kindness that makes them beautiful
And a kind heart don’t cost a dime
It’s a gift that keeps giving, for the rest of your life
And if your money runs out, and your good looks fade
May your kindness remain

I love the thought of kindness being the thing that remains. After money, looks, fame are all gone—especially in this day and age—there’s a lot to be said for just being kind.

Kindness came back to Andrews recently, in a wonderful fashion. Brandi Carlile, one of Americana and country music’s most popular female performers—and a member of the super-group the Highwomen—is taking a stand on her stated intention to “open the door and hold it open for other female artists.” How is she doing that?

By serving as the opening act for Courtney Marie Andrews, among others.

And a kind heart don’t cost a dime
It’s a gift that keeps giving, for the rest of your life
And if your money runs out, and your good looks fade
May your kindness remain

What a wonderful gift.

More to come…

DJB

Image: “May Your Kindness Remain” album cover: Courtney Marie Andrews

Finish the Fight

They finished the fight!

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Washington Nationals!

World Series Champions!!

Unbelievable!!!

What an incredible run through the entire playoffs, ending with four road wins in Houston against the mighty Astros.

I’m so happy for the only original National, Ryan Zimmerman. Stephen Strasburg as the World Series MVP is so deserving. Love all the “Los Viejos” (the Old Men)! And love all the kids as well!

What a season.

If you had asked me on Memorial Day…

I could not have imagined that the Washington Nationals would make the playoffs, much less the World Series.

I could not have imagined a kids song, some goofy sunglasses, and a home-run dance party serving as tools to loosen up a perpetually high-strung, under-achieving team and its Type-A personality fan base.

I could not have imagined that the Washington Nationals would be described by one columnist as the only “likeable” team of the four left in the hunt during the League Championship Series. Does he know he’s talking about Washington, D.C., the city the country loves to hate?

I could not have imagined manager Dave Martinez holding on to his job through September, much less out-managing such well-respected skippers as Dave Roberts of the Dodgers, Mike Shildt of the St. Louis Cardinals, or A.J. Hinch of the Houston Astros in October. Speaking of Martinez, I could not have imagined that his “Let’s go 1-0 today” and “Bumpy roads often lead to beautiful places” quotes would be so damn inspirational.

I could not have imagined the Nationals fan base being so, well, spectacular during three home losses in the World Series. In years past, the fans who turned up for the playoffs were often there to party and seemed to think the Nats — who often did have the better team — could just show up and win. This year, the team’s playing for the joy of the game rubbed off on the fan base. I know that I’ve seldom had such a good time at the ballpark when my team lost as I did at Game 3. It was a knowledgeable baseball crowd. And it is a crowd that knows how to catch a home run ball without spilling the beer!

And because it is Washington, D.C., it was also a crowd that was knowledgeable about politics and the current dangers to our democracy. It was a crowd that cheered celebrity chef and humanitarian José Andrés, who further endeared himself to the town when he noted that he was proud to be an immigrant throwing out the first pitch for a team full of immigrants. But I digress…

I could not have imagined the Nationals going into Houston and winning the first two games of the World Series on the road against the mighty Astros, and then bouncing back in a wacky and ultimately marvelous Game 6 after being held to one run in each of the three games at Nationals Park.

I could not have imagined being behind in five elimination games during the playoffs, and coming back to win each one.

I could not have imagined such a satisfying Game 7.

Frankly, I could not have imagined having this much fun watching a baseball team.

In my five decades of being enthralled by baseball — beginning as a nine-year-old with a 1964 family vacation to Wrigley Field where I saw the Chicago Cubs play Bob Gibson and the St. Louis Cardinals — nothing compares to the joy of watching this year’s Nationals. This is one time when I haven’t let my expectations drive my happiness, and it has paid off in spades.

In years past, after the end of the season I’ve been fond of quoting A. Bartlett Giamatti. The Ph.D. professor of English Renaissance literature, former president of Yale, and the great commissioner of baseball who banned Pete Rose for life and then died of a heart attack 8 days later, said of baseball:

“It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.”

But this year, I don’t feel heartbroken!

This may have been the last game in a Nationals uniform for Anthony (Tony Two-Bags) Rendon and Stephen Strasburg. I hope that’s not the case, but whatever happens, I want to thank them, and thank all the Nats, for a magical year.

Go World Series Champion Nats!

More to come…

DJB

Image of my lucky World Series FINISH THE FIGHT rally towel!

Connecting to Our Best Selves

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The Honorable Elijah E. Cummings, who represented Maryland’s 7th Congressional District which included his beloved city of Baltimore, passed away on October 17th. His was an especially difficult death for many of us to process, because he regularly and effectively spoke truth to power at a time when that trait is sorely lacking in our civic conversation.

Elijah Cummings

The Honorable Elijah Cummings

Yesterday’s Washington Post had a Cummings op-ed written in July entitled We Are in a Fight for the Soul of Our Democracy. It began,

“As I pen these words, we are living through a time in our nation’s history when powerful forces are seeking to divide us one from another; when the legitimacy of our constitutional institutions is under attack; and when factually supported truth itself has come under relentless challenge.

I am among those who have not lost confidence in our ability to right the ship of American democratic life, but I also realize that we are in a fight — a fight for the soul of our democracy.

As an American of color, I have been able to receive an excellent public education, become an attorney, and serve my community and country in both the Maryland General Assembly and Congress because of one very important fact: Americans of conscience from every political vantage point took our Constitution seriously and fought for my right to be all that I could become.”

Even though he fought those in and out of government who put party, personal profit, and power above the nation’s values, concern for all citizens, and our very Constitution, Cummings was beloved across the aisle. From the tributes that have poured out following his death, it is clear that first and foremost he had a moral clarity about his work and treated everyone with respect. As Colbert I. King wrote in one such tribute in the Post, the phrases people were using, such as “‘a common touch,” “a sense of duty and steady strength,” and a “commanding presence in a man with such a gentle spirit” were all accurate.

“But the Elijah Cummings I got to know,” said King, “was more than a dedicated and skilled public servant. He was, for me, the keeper of the nation’s conscience.”

I was reflecting on Cummings’ life and work last week when I opened the mail and saw a thank you card. It was from the widow of another man who, although not as public a personality as Cummings, was nonetheless a man of integrity. The outpouring of affection following Cummings death, along with the thank you card from a grieving widow that came from another place in my life, led me to think about what we gain when we look beyond ourselves.

Bert Smiley was a great-grandnephew of two Quaker brothers. Beginning in 1869, these two brothers “transformed a rowdy 10-room tavern into an idiosyncratic hilltop hotel with more than 260 guest rooms.” That hilltop hotel is Mohonk Mountain House, one of my favorite places on earth.

Bert Smiley, who led the transformation of Mohonk into the 21st century, had passed away a year and a day before Cummings, on October 16, 2018.

Mohonk Mount House

Mohonk Mountain House

Mohonk was designed, and remains, as a place to nurture the soul. With its miles of wooded hiking trails, crystal clear mountain lake, and rambling Victorian-era hotel, it couldn’t be farther away from the gritty streets of Baltimore. And yet, both Elijah Cummings and Bert Smiley looked beyond themselves in ways that touched and blessed others. Albert Smiley, Mohonk’s founder along with his brother Alfred, was a humanitarian and conservationist, concerned about the condition of Native Americans and devoted to fostering world peace. His descendants, including Bert, followed in his footsteps.

Smiley’s widow Nina is a long-time friend, and as the first anniversary of Bert’s death from leukemia was approaching, she was thanking, with personal notes, what must have been the thousands who reached out to her and the family with support. Included with the note was a smaller card that had a photo of a rainbow at Mohonk on one side and the following on the other side:

“Setting a Mindful Intention

A Gift from Bert and Nina

Bert began each day with Nina by setting a daily intention. Before getting out of bed, they would close their eyes, take several full gentle breaths, and say: ‘May we live with compassion, with grace, with insight, with integrity, with love.’ They saw this as a moment of connection to their best selves and to the world, and a way to begin each day with an infusion of positive energy.

Nina hopes that you might embrace this idea in your own life.”

Compassion. Grace. Insight. Integrity. Love. Connecting to our best selves is what Bert and Nina sought each day, and what the work of Elijah Cummings calls us to do, even though his physical body has left this world.

With gratitude for the transformational work of Elijah Cummings and for the example of those—like Bert Smiley—whose lives call us to a connection to our better selves.

May they rest in peace.

More to come…

DJB

 

World Series Game - October 25, 2019

Should I wash my socks now?

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This morning, an interesting question popped up on my wife’s Facebook feed.

“Now that the Nationals 8-game winning streak has ended, should I wash my Curly W socks that I’ve worn throughout the streak?”

Baseball fever has swept Washington, even if the Nationals will not sweep the Astros in the World Series after last night’s 4-1 loss in Game 3. Superstition is a big part of the game, so the question was a serious one.

My answer? Yes! Once a streak is ended, you need to shift to new gear so that the momentum can swing back your way. Luckily, I have enough Nats caps, t-shirts, hoodies, and jackets (at least two of each and more in some instances) to make the change easily.

Entering Nats Park for the World Series
Entering Nationals Park for Game 3 of the 2019 World Series

For all things streak related, I first turn to the best baseball movie ever, Bull Durham. There’s a famous scene about “respecting the streak” where Kevin Costner’s Crash Davis makes the point to Susan Sarandon’s Annie Savoy that players have to respect a streak…and should not change whatever they think is causing their run of good fortune. (Note: the scene is as much about sex as it is about baseball, so the link is for mature audiences only.)

One of our home-team announcers for the Nationals, former player F.P. Santangelo, likes to admonish the viewers to stay in the “same seats” when hits are flying off the Nationals’ bats, or to encourage everyone to move to a different seat when the team needs to break out of a slump.

And baseball being baseball, of course there are multiple online sites with a take on this question, such as “The 50 Strangest Superstitions and Rituals in Baseball.”

View from my World Series seat
View from my seat at Game 3 of the 2019 World Series

I’ll confess that I went to last night’s Game 3 at Nationals Park with some bit of trepidation. My on-site record for playoff games for the Nationals was 1-2, and the two losses were horrific. (Game 5 of 2012 NLDS and the famous 18-inning game of the 2014 NLDS, for those who care.) But I’ve never been to a World Series game in person, and so I threw caution to the win and forked over the money to get a seat.

My biggest tactical mistake was not wearing the same pants I wore for the Nats’ wins in Games 1 and 2. I feared they were a little thin for the October evening temperature, and frankly they looked a little worse for the wear after I wore them stretched out on the couch for two games.

So I’ll take the blame for the Game 3 loss. It’s on me.

But I had a blast, all the same.

As I’ve said, I have no expectations for this series (or the two that went before) but I just want to enjoy the ride. Last night was no exception. The crowd was terrific. As opposed to some other playoff crowds I’ve been around in Washington, which were heavy on those who wanted to party, the folks in our section were knowledgeable, enthusiastic, but also respectful of the Astros as a talented group of players. It was an exciting game all the way through the last pitch in the bottom of the 9th.

My take on the loss was that the Nationals players were as amped up as the fans, and had trouble controlling their emotions. Any time you leave 10 men on in scoring position without getting them home, you’re not relaxed in a moment of great tension (which is the only way to play the game.) I hope that getting over that first “World Series game at home” hump, and the reality of the loss, will bring them back to the “terrific players having fun” persona that has led them this far.

So, for those who are superstitious, I’ll be home and back in my “winning” seat on the couch (or the “winning” seat at the Silver Branch Brewing Company bar) for the rest of the series.

Go Nats!

More to come…

DJB

Image: Nationals Park before the start of the first MLB World Series Game in Washington since 1933. To set the record straight, yesterday’s Washington Post noted correctly that Washington’s last World Series team was the 1948 Homestead Grays of the Negro League, “who defeated the Birmingham Black Barons, four games to one, to cap perhaps the most dominant stretch of baseball in American history.”

Saturday Soundtrack: Alasdair Fraser & Natalie Haas

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Alasdair Fraser & Natalie Haas
Alasdair Fraser & Natalie Haas at the Institute of Musical Traditions Gathering

Last Monday evening, Scottish fiddler Alasdair Fraser and cellist Natalie Haas brought their extraordinary musical partnership to Washington for a large and appreciative crowd at the Institute of Musical Traditions.

This is the 20th year Fraser and Haas have played together, and the anniversary gave the duo the excuse to return to their back catalog. And it is a masterful body of work, beginning with the album where I first heard them—their inaugural CD Fire & Grace, a project that turned heads worldwide with its exquisite musicianship and clear sense of joy.

Steeped in different backgrounds— Alasdair from the roots world of Scottish fiddle and Natalie from the classical halls of Julliard—these amazing musicians responded to each other and to each intricate twist and turn of the music for a delightful two hours. It was art as a life-giving force. And they clearly had fun, recognizing the unique nature of the evening’s setting when they played the “appropriate for Washington” reel Little Donald in the Pigpen. Haas’s percussive use of the cello underpinned the magnificent tones that Fraser coaxed from his fiddle. No matter the tune, their music soared as they traded lead and rhythm roles, then came together in unison so as to take your breath away.

It was an exceptional evening of music making.

Fraser and Haas
Alasdair Fraser and Natalie Haas (photo credit: Fran Bernardino)

Included among the many fiddle tunes they played on Monday was the medley of two traditional pieces, Neil Gow’s Wife and The Old Reel. There were contemporary tunes in the set as well, such as Megan and Jared’s Waltz followed by Mike Vass’ Cavers of Kirkcudbright. Give them all a listen from their Strings Sessions video.

Alasdair Fraser and Natalie Haas are touring this fall in support of their new album and in celebration of their two decades of a wonderful musical partnership. Check them out, and enjoy.

More to come…

DJB